CaterHowlett16 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 (edited) Chaos is everywhere brothers. they can be at your job, at your school, in your house, even under your bed stealing your socks, but their biggest tactics of making lives miserable have been through posting on internet forums. It started at the Warhammer 40k forums, but now it has spread to all gaming forums of the internet. None are safe. It is imperative that you protect yourself against this heresy! There are four types of chaos posters, one for each chaos god. Exhibit A: The Khorne poster The Khorne poster tends to be focused on rage and anger, but they can also be extremely hateful, bloodthirsty, or evil posts. Signs can include: extensive angry posts, using all caps, poor spelling/grammer, extreme aggression, "edgelord" or nihilist posts, overuse of exclamation marks and constant mentioning of blood. At first glance, one might think "Wow that guy has some serious anger issues" or "How is this guy not locked up?" Khorne posts are not limited to OP or responding posts. Khorne posts are very upfront and are usually stopped by moderators, but if this is not the case the best thing that can be done is to ignore them. Fueling the fire only makes it hotter. However if this is not an option, it is best to "play dead" and just agree with them for the sake of leaving you alone. "WAT DO U MEEN YOU LIKE_____?! DOWN WITH ______!!!!! LET HIS/HER BLOOD RUN RAMPANT THROUGH THE STREETS!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHA" Exhibit B: The Tzeentch poster Much more covert and discreet than a Khorne or Slaanesh poster, a Tzeentch post's main goal is to stir the pot with a mind blowingly stupid idea or rant. Almost exclusively by starting a normally undebatable topic (Ex. "We don't have enough WRNG", "Lower the drop rate for rare parts", "Even with sorties, missions are too easy",) They only appear to be idiots, but in reality, they are cutting edge internet trolls of the highest skill. They are so crafty that most of them can go beneath moderators radar and have their threads live on, using the hate responses to keep the thread alive. When these hate posts come, the TP will respond with illogical textwalls that look like they are smart but in reality not make any sense. Just like the Khorne poster, don't argue with these people. They need you to fuel them and keep their threads alive. Don't respond to their threads and certainly do not give them upvotes/likes of any kind. A dying thread is a Tzeentch poster's one weakness and obviously do not listen to any of their terrible ideas. Signs include extreme superiority delusions, textwalls, stubbornness, chronic lying and inverse logic. "Let me tell you why you are wrong. You are wrong because you are not enlightened. You are not enlightened because you are wrong. (insert brainless textwall here) " Exhibit C: The Nurgle poster Like the Tzeencth poster. The Nurgle poster is unlikely to be stopped by moderators, but unlike the Tzeentch poster, The nurgle poster takes the the side of responding posts rather than OP. They take pride in shooting down every idea imaginable, good or bad, the idea of the Nurgle poster is to prevent any constructive progress in the forums from happening and the game remains static. In short they like to see all new ideas rot and die. They may be confused with normal critics. This is the reason that moderators have trouble uncovering them, but a expert can tell that a critic will have an actual reason for not agreeing with something. As the Nurgle poster will have no real reason or logic whatsoever to disagree. Therefore they tend to just give terrible answers and feedback. They are incredibly toxic to be around as no idea is not good enough for their approval. They are the first one to find a problem with something, even if it's not there. Signs can be:extreme salt, laziness when replying in conversations, little to no opinion on anything unless a opinion is presented (then they take the opposite opinion) , and high toxicity. What little can be done about these chaos posters is that if a idea is popular enough. The Nurgle poster will be overrun and will have no power. "Your idea is stupid because......... your idea is stupid" Exhibit D: The Slaanesh Poster The most the revolting type of chaos poster. The Slaanesh poster takes differance from the others by not taking pleasure form arguing or making people mad. However they are no less miserable in the sense of disturbing the peace. The main goal for the Slaanesh Poster is to get as many likes/upvotes as possible, going to (and often surpassing) a annoying and disturbing degree. It starts as a simple post that gets good approval. This greatly makes the poster happy and will then try to create more posts in a attempt to to get the same endorphin rush. The corruption tends to reach it's climax when lewd or otherwise disturbing images are posted in order to get more upvotes/likes. The poor soul has turned into a Slaanesh poster. Searching for it's next kick of upvotes/likes Do not under any circumstances like or upvote the Slaanesh poster's post it will only increase the hunger. Other then that, one can expect things like: Constant posting, meaningless or pointless posts, directly asking for upvotes, displaying awkward or socially weird posts, and having clickbait topics that are unrelated once read. "Hey everybody look at me! Like my post! *posts puppy* Like my post! *posts puppy and lewd picture* LIKE MY POST! *posts puppy with lewd and explicit picture* LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIKKKKKKKEEE MAAAAAAA PPPPPPOOOOOSSSSSSSSSTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!" Chaos is a very dangerous thing on any means. It can corrupt us all. The best thing you can do to protect yourself from the evils that lurk in the internet. If you or someone you suspect has been afflicted by chaos. Please give the inquisition a call at 1-800-PURGE. One of our top inquisitors will happily put a bolt through your heretic skull cure you of this ailment. Have a nice day, and remember kids, Don't be a heretic on the internet. Or we will find you and smite you Glory to the Emperor, Inquisitor lord Fyodor Karamazov Ordos Hereticus, The Emperor's Holy Inquisition. Edited March 16, 2016 by CaterHowlett16 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsher Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 (edited) Fyodor, didn't Magnus suck you into the void because you were being sarcastically praised by the emperor? How are you holding up there? Also your images are broken. Fix them in the name of the emperor Edited March 15, 2016 by Skycook3y Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Hahahahhahah!!!! You'll never get me.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sixty5 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 If I do all of these, does that make me Lord of Chaos? Because that has a really nice ring to it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Well I guess I am the chaos poster from edge hell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IceDragonofAmber Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 You forgot one. Exhibit E: The Malice Poster The Malice poster, best described as a mix between the Khorne and Tzeentchian, lives to spread anarchy and disorder. They operate through and live off of "flame wars", working to set the community against each other through controversal topics and derailment. The worshippers of Malice grow more active during periods of great divide, such as the infamous "Gradivous Delima" and "Proxy Wars", and can often be found setting a Tzeentchian and Nurglitte against one another. However, due to the nature of a Malicer's posts mods are often quick to descend upon the threads of a Malice worshipper, swiftly retconning or locking a thread to stem the flames. These actions have resulted in the number of Malice worshippers keeping low, with the species as a whole swiftly falling into obscurity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 17 minutes ago, IceDragonofAmber said: You forgot one. Exhibit E: The Malice Poster The Malice poster, best described as a mix between the Khorne and Tzeentchian, lives to spread anarchy and disorder. They operate through and live off of "flame wars", working to set the community against each other through controversal topics and derailment. The worshippers of Malice grow more active during periods of great divide, such as the infamous "Gradivous Delima" and "Proxy Wars", and can often be found setting a Tzeentchian and Nurglitte against one another. However, due to the nature of a Malicer's posts mods are often quick to descend upon the threads of a Malice worshipper, swiftly retconning or locking a thread to stem the flames. These actions have resulted in the number of Malice worshippers keeping low, with the species as a whole swiftly falling into obscurity. Not as long as I exist. The mods can't tame me... Muahahahahahahah!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaterHowlett16 Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 1 hour ago, Skycook3y said: Fyodor, didn't Magnus suck you into the void because you were being sarcastically praised by the emperor? How are you holding up there? Also your images are broken. Fix them in the name of the emperor (The sad thing is I actually know what you are talking about. That's not canon but I'll roll with it.) The warp is very roomy, you can really stretch your chair legs. Yet nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes sense in it. Kaldor Drago has been driven mad, and Leman Russ is the most egotistical guy I know.....plus he won't stop flexing. 2 hours ago, (XB1)MK Ultra K11 said: Hahahahhahah!!!! You'll never get me.... Oh no? Hold on I need to make some calls..... 2 hours ago, Sixty5 said: If I do all of these, does that make me Lord of Chaos? Because that has a really nice ring to it. No it makes you a HERETIC! Get him! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 1 minute ago, CaterHowlett16 said: (The sad thing is I actually know what you are talking about. That's not canon but I'll roll with it.) The warp is very roomy, you can really stretch your chair legs. Yet nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes sense in it. Kaldor Drago has been driven mad, and Leman Russ is the most egotistical guy I know.....plus he won't stop flexing. Oh no? Hold on I need to make some calls..... No it makes you a HERETIC! Get him! Try as you may but your fire doesn't burn me!!!! Muahahahahahaha!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon_Slayer Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 So if I'm all three, and more. Am I considered a Chaos God? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)Grihaly Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 I am the embodiment of all 4. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaterHowlett16 Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 2 minutes ago, (XB1)MK Ultra K11 said: Try as you may but your fire doesn't burn me!!!! Muahahahahahaha!!!! Who said we were going to burn you? No I think I'll just call exterminatus on you and call it a day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon_Slayer Posted March 15, 2016 Share Posted March 15, 2016 Just now, CaterHowlett16 said: Who said we were going to burn you? No I think I'll just call exterminatus on you and call it a day. Exterminatus usually involve the combustion of oxygen on the planets atmosphere, turning the surface of the planet into Hell. Thus, fire wouldn't do much. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaterHowlett16 Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 4 minutes ago, RevivedEdgeLord said: 4 minutes ago, (XB1)A Frikn Grizzly said: I am the embodiment of all 4. So if I'm all three, and more. Am I considered a Chaos God? We got two more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
321agemo Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 I was expecting the entire postto be a single link: https://forums.warframe.com/profile/37103-theerebus/ How wrong i was.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)MK Ultra K11 Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 3 hours ago, CaterHowlett16 said: Who said we were going to burn you? No I think I'll just call exterminatus on you and call it a day. *falls on the ground laughing* If anything will kill me it will be my own laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsher Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 7 hours ago, CaterHowlett16 said: (The sad thing is I actually know what you are talking about. That's not canon but I'll roll with it.) The warp is very roomy, you can really stretch your chair legs. Yet nothing, and I mean NOTHING makes sense in it. Kaldor Drago has been driven mad, and Leman Russ is the most egotistical guy I know.....plus he won't stop flexing. Oh no? Hold on I need to make some calls..... No it makes you a HERETIC! Get him! (I think everybody knows it's not canon) But flex is gud, wolves are stronk Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CaterHowlett16 Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 7 hours ago, Skycook3y said: (I think everybody knows it's not canon) But flex is gud, wolves are stronk Ugh yes.....so he keeps saying.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Datsher Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Just now, CaterHowlett16 said: Ugh yes.....so he keeps saying.... Maybe you should flex too, you become like wolf, wolf stronk, stronker than warp. If want to leave warp, be stronk like wolf. stronk like Leman Russ. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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