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Out Of Frame: The Everyday Lives Of The Tenno - Feedback & Discussion

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Ronin666

Ronin666

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ahhh the return of The one true Rhino in all the caps lock guido glory

Rhino rawks man. Brother keeps it real by repping Jersey Shore.

 

Comes a point in time when one gets sick of the nerdy/brainy/we're-smarter-than-you bs.

Rhino is the quintessential black sheep in this series ;)

 

Doozy, another great episode. Moar Rhinoguido and his lingo in capslock..pl0x.

Edited by Ronin666
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gvgeri

gvgeri

Posted
Posted

RHINO: YEA THAT’S WHAT I’M TALKIN’ BOUT. FISTBUMP.

NOVA: Oh, so now everyone’s tired of us being nerds? Who invited you?

SARYN: Yea what the hell? Its hardly my fault I need a PhD in molecular biology to operate this warframe. You think miasma just happens when you hit the 4 key? I have to do a lot of work to make that happen.

EMBER: Boo hoo, cram it librarians.

NOVA: What, you didn’t have to have an education to set everything on fire? Some of us actually have to try, you know.

EMBER: Cry babies. You bookworms couldn’t do what I was doing before you were tenno.

SARYN: And what was that dear, female gym rat with a sugar daddy?

NOVA: A stripper?

EMBER: Please dear, strippers actually have to get up and go to work. All I did was work out and sleep all day. You wish you could do my pre-tenno job.

SARYN: I did your pre-tenno job every weekend between cramming chemistry textbooks, you couchpotato.

EMBER: Yea, sure you did honey. I was a FIREFIGHTER.

NOVA: You? A firefighter? You’re a space ninja arsonist.

EMBER: Yea, you act like I don’t have to know S#&$ for that? Firefighters gotta know stuff too, like how to drag your little 90 pound porcelain doll &#! out of a burning building after you get your HP chainsawed by a grineer platoon.

NOVA: The building is burning because of you.

EMBER: Damn right it is, but I’ll still get you out of it alive, skinny. Firefighters rule.

RHINO: RESPECT. FIST BUMP.

EMBER: That’s what’s up.

 

So... How do I get around getting about 10% of your creativity?

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Doozy84

Doozy84

Posted
Posted

So... How do I get around getting about 10% of your creativity?

Stop watching TV. Just stop. There's nothing good on it.

You are allowed to watch netflix though, as long as its archer, adventure time, and venture brothers.

Stop going to the movies too. Don't see it if Schwarzenegger isn't in it.

Read more books, but don't just read crappy genre fiction hacks like that warhammer 40k black library garbage, read the original stuff. Read the stuff that the hack writers were reading- Edgar Rice Burroughs, HP Lovecraft, and Robert E Howard. Those were the fathers of modern genre fiction.

Also, ignore the fact that Howard and Lovecraft were huge racists. Everyone was racist in 1930, so was your great grandpa. Just kind of ignore the fact that Lovecraft had a black cat named ****** Man. He was still the best American horror writer to ever live. Stephen King said so.

And read history. Specifically, don't read history about stupid crap that involves rich white men. Read history about women, criminals, prostitutes, and outlaws. Its closer to the facts and it has more sex and violence. You really want to know about Napoleon? Don't read about Napoleon, read about who he was banging.

The most important thing, NEVER EVER EVER read anything about what you're writing about. if you're writing science fiction, don't read science fiction. The only thing you'll accomplish is finding out how everyone else rehashed the same idea to death. If you're writing science fiction, read about cowboys. If you're writing fantasy, read about space exploration and the solar system. Whatever you're writing about is automatically banned material, only research reading is permitted. No recreational reading of your genre material, its like dating a girl at your job, don't fish off the company pier.

Never ever ever read Jon Norman's Gor. Don't do it. Ever.

Also Ender's Game sucks, read Forever War instead. Its the same story without a bullS#&$ political agenda and there's sex and violence in it.

And finally, last but not least, do read all of Game of Thrones. Read all of it so you know what's happening in the show. Then you don't actually have to watch the show, and you can laugh at all the morons who thought Robb Stark was the main character.

Shut up and be boring for a minute. Get interested in things. Sit down and read. If someone asks you to come out to the bar on saturday night, blow them off and read instead. Read about stuff like French Quarter prostitute knife fights and Celtic warrior queens and Billy the Kid so that the next time you actually want to go to the bar, you'll have something interesting to talk about to impress girls with.

Oh, and if you think that's too much work, or it looks like it might be too hard...

Then give up and don't do it.

Makes it that much easier for those of us who do.

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agung.up

agung.up

Posted
Posted

NOVA: If he calls us broads one more time I’m going disassemble his brain molecule by molecule.

SARYN: You’d have to find it first, dear.

EMBER: Damn right it is, but I’ll still get you out of it alive, skinny. Firefighters rule.

RHINO: RESPECT. FIST BUMP.

EMBER: That’s what’s up.

This is why i love you series :D

 

 

Stop watching TV. Just stop. There's nothing good on it.

You are allowed to watch netflix though, as long as its archer, adventure time, and venture brothers.

Stop going to the movies too. Don't see it if Schwarzenegger isn't in it.

*snip snip snip*

damn right. Doozy, you're my current most favorite writer.

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Kalenath

Kalenath

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ender's game was pretty good I don't care if I am off the island either

 

It wasn't a BAD book. The AUTHOR has the dubious distinction of being the ONLY person to ever call me a Nazi in the middle of a crowded supermarket. Because I asked a question about a plot point and didn't immediately accept his answer.

 

I won't EVER buy any of his books again no matter HOW good they may be. I will not support his delusions of messiah-hood.

Edited by Kalenath
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Shifa

Shifa

Posted
Posted

Doozy, what about meditation specifically for coming up with ideas?

Hell, if I don't read the genre I'm going to do here and there, I don't get inspired. Your writing here is part of what got me started on writing Nova's Journey Diary.

(The other parts come from FrostWolf's This is Sol System News Network and my own daydreaming/meditation.)

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Doozy84

Doozy84

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Posted

It wasn't a BAD book. The AUTHOR has the dubious distinction of being the ONLY person to ever call me a Nazi in the middle of a crowded supermarket. Because I asked a question about a plot point and didn't immediately accept his answer.

 

I won't EVER buy any of his books again no matter HOW good they may be. I will not support his delusions of messiah-hood.

I hope someday I'm successful enough to get away with being that crazy. People all coming up to me in the grocery store asking me stuff, and I'm like, "I dunno? How would you feel if I George RR Martined your favorite character?" Ha Ha! HOSTAGES!

The sweetest part of success is getting to be a hypocrite. I hope I sell enough books someday to vote republican.

 

Doozy, what about meditation specifically for coming up with ideas? Hell, if I don't read the genre I'm going to do here and there, I don't get inspired. Your writing here is part of what got me started on writing Nova's Journey Diary. (The other parts come from FrostWolf's This is Sol System News Network and my own daydreaming/meditation.)

I don't really meditate. But I do exercise. Well kind of, up until I started trying to get this part time thing at a gym, once that happened I started slacking off and my average mileage on my bike went from 24 miles a day to less to none because I thought I was gonna just end up in the dojo getting paid 10 bucks an hour just to answer phones and hulk out all afternoon. Naturally, that hasn't happened yet, and then my aunt who is a distributor for a major candy company came to visit and brought one of those 2lb bags of swedish fish, and now I've pretty much lost all the self control and progress I made all summer...

Oh wait that's not the point. Why did you do this to me, swedish fish? Anyways, back when I was BEHAVING MYSELF and riding my bike as much I should, that was alright, I guess. I had time to think, and I spent most of it getting mad.

The thing that always works best for me is getting mad. Anger isn't a negative force in your life if you harness it correctly. You have to channel it into the dark side of the force like Darth Vader, and be a sith lord like James Earl Jones. If you're mad and you don't do anything, you're just hurting yourself. If you're mad and you use it, its a good thing. There are tons of people out there who are not as talented as you, and they're already winning. You kind of have to think of it as a race and then decide you're not going to lose. You're going to run people over and step on their throats, because really, that's what the American dream is, and that's true. Social Security is bankrupt, your parents are never going to retire, and as long as the last generation is still working, your generation isn't getting any jobs. You have to step on people to come up, its ghetto mentality, but it works.

You have to get mad, you have to get hungry. You have to read all that crap everyone else is selling, and say, "Why the hell is this hack getting paid for this garbage? I'm just as good as he is." You don't even actually have to be right, but you do have to make sacrifices, and be willing to run over other people with your car. The best person doesn't always win. The best person NEVER wins. The hungriest person, regardless of talent, who wanted it the most, they win. Lance Armstrong doped his blood. he cheated. Guess what? Even as a cheater, he's still the best athlete alive. All the other bikers were doping too. Cheating isn't real. Plagiarism is real, but cheating isn't. Ask any professional fighter, any professional race car driver, any professional anything whose career is based solely on his performance. They'll all tell you to always cheat, always take a sucker punch when the ref isn't looking, always fix your car before the race, always load the dice. If you don't do it, someone else will.

Mark Donohue was one of the greatest race drivers to ever live, and he drove for Roger Penske, probably the greatest race team owner to ever live. He died in 1975 in a crash after he came out of retirement, but while he was retired he wrote a memoir called UNFAIR ADVANTAGE that is one of the most important books I've ever read, and I highly recommend it, even if you don't know anything about cars. In that memoir, he went race-by-race and car-by-car throughout his entire career explaining EVERY TIME HE AND PENSKE EVER CHEATED to rig their car or win a race. They did it because they needed to win, and they knew if all the other teams figured out how to do it, they'd do it too, so they just decided to be hungrier and meaner. Race teams don't get paid if they don't win. If Penske wasn't winning, nobody was putting food on the table for their family. That was the reality of it, you're meaner, hungrier, and madder than the other guy, or you're not succeeding.

When I think about all the people who are out in front of me who I don't think are as good as I am, who are published when I'm not, I get mad. When I get mad, I have to write. I wrote 7,000 words yesterday because I wasn't happy with where I was. I just did it because I knew I needed to improve, I had to go somewhere and do something, so 7,000 words just happened. I'm 7,000 words bigger and stronger now than I was yesterday, because I was 7,000 words &!$$ed off. That was nothing. That wasn't even that mad, it was mildly annoyed. The last time I was really mad, it was a 3 month rage bender that resulted in a 175,000 world novel.

 

That advice...

 

I need to write it down because I want to write professionally like Doozy. Celtic warrior queens? What book is that?

 

Ancient history. The Romans are jerks. There are 3 reasons we don't know a lot about the Celts-

1, Roman roads, which were mostly based on celtic roads, were wooden, and rotted and decayed, so only the Roman roads that paved over them remain to give hints to the width of their civilization.

2, the Romans eventually won, because Celts were into honorable single combat and Romans weren't. Individually, Celts kicked the S#&$ out of Romans, and before Rome really got their S#&$ together, the Celts actually sacked Rome and ransomed the whole town. But Romans were copycats and every time somebody did something that worked, the Romans stole it, copied it, and used it. The Gladius and the scutum were based on Celtic designs. Romans used round shields until they saw the Celts rocking square shields, and said, "Hey, if we do this and stand next to each other in a phalanx, maybe we won't get our asses kicked so hard by all these buff Gaul badasses who can all beat the hell out of us 1v1"

3, Celtic history was passed down in oral sagas by druids, so they never committed it to writing to be preserved for future generations, and then the Romans won, and they were pretty into writing stuff down, so naturally they just said a bunch of stuff about how the Celts were dumb barbarians and that stuck because history is written by the victors, and all the Celts that got pushed out of europe back to the british isles didn't have a whole lot to say about it back.

What we do know about the Celts is that they were way better people than the Romans.

 

Celts actually had female political leaders, and women were equal members in society. Romans didn't consider women people. A woman wasn't a citizen, if accused of a crime, she couldn't even represent herself in court. In a Roman household, the man lived in the front of the house where the nice rooms and the living room and all the cool stuff was to entertain guests, and his wife lived in the back of the house. She wasn't even allowed to chill on the porch, if she was out in the front, people thought she was rebellious and @#&*ty, and someone would say, "Hey Publius, I saw your wife standing on your porch looking like a ho the other day, you ought to slap her around and put her in her place."

There are recorded historical accounts, by Romans, of Celtic women being TOTALLY HARDCORE. Romans even wrote that Celtic women were as big as the men, and just as nasty in a fight. In Celtic culture, if the girl wanted to pick up a sword, you didn't tell her "No honey, war isn't for girls." You got the hell out of her way.

One time, A Roman officer captured a celtic woman and held her for ransom. While she was his hostage, he raped her. He didn't really think it was a big deal naturally, because he was a Roman and he thought the Celts were just dirty barbarians anyways, so why not have a roll in the hay with her if he could get away with it?

When her husband showed up to deliver the ransom payment, he said to his wife, "Wife, a good thing is Faith."

What he meant was, "You better not have sold out to these Roman A******s while I was trying to get you back."

In response, his wife sucker punches the Roman, takes his sword, decapitates him, hands her husband the severed head, and says, "A better thing is being the only living  man who has slept with me."

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Ronin666

Ronin666

Posted
Posted

 

In response, his wife sucker punches the Roman, takes his sword, decapitates him, hands her husband the severed head, and says, "A better thing is being the only living  man who has slept with me."

 

 

Sounds like something from the Kushiel's Legacy series, lol.

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Haldark

Haldark

Posted
Posted (edited)

Ancient history. The Romans are jerks. There are 3 reasons we don't know a lot about the Celts-

I'm interested as hell in this, can you name any book in particular you've read or name a source where you've found this info? I mean, I'm going to go and look myself, but I'd absolutely love to see where you've seen/read/heard any of the things you just mentioned. Especially some of the more militant things. 

 

*Pushes The Campaigns of Alexander The Great to one side of the table.*

 

I've marked the following for reading (and figuring out if they're reliable) later:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Celts Don't worry, I'm not going to take everything to heart, or in fact really trust anything on here, but I'm going to use it as a base for what I'm going to learn of the Celts, as I know next to nothing.

http://www.ares.u-net.com/whocelts.htm

http://www.sacred-texts.com/neu/celt/mlcr/mlcr01.htm

http://skyelander.orgfree.com/menu10.html

http://celticclans.oakandacorn.com/history.html

and http://www.sacredfire.net/

Edited by Haldark
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Kalenath

Kalenath

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Posted

Sounds like something from the Kushiel's Legacy series, lol.

 

But real.

 

Or at least 'real' as in it was written down by someone at the time as a great story.

 

My PERSONAL bet? It actually happened, pretty much the way the story says. As Doozy says, Romans were jerks. Efficient and murderous jerks. But jerks nonetheless.

 

History is written by the victors, but SOME true stories do seep through the cracks of the propaganda.

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Shadow-Blades

Shadow-Blades

Posted
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Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, Banshee and Loki are coming back from a mission to find that the gang has been missing them... Well, one of them. Nobody misses Loki. For very good reasons.

 

BANSHEE: Dammit! 3 missed calls and 4 text messages. How do I miss this stuff?

LOKI: Did you have it on silent?

BANSHEE: No. Everybody always thinks I do that, but its not true. Its like yea, Banshee, sound gags! I get it. Ha ha.

LOKI: Is it on airplane mode?

BANSHEE: Why would it be on airplane mode?

LOKI: Because every time we go on a mission, I sneak into the locker room and set everyone’s phones to airplane mode, just to see who notices.

BANSHEE: Dammit, it is on airplane mode! Why the hell would you do that?

LOKI: Because I’m Loki.

BANSHEE: Well did anyone call you?

LOKI: No.

BANSHEE: Because you’re Loki?

LOKI: Yes.

BANSHEE: Seriously, why do you crap like this? Do you have any idea how much of my social life I’ve missed because you’ve been messing with my phone? Wait... How did you know the password?

LOKI: I didn’t. You know that switch teleport thing I always do to &!$$ people off, and it seems totally random? Its not. I’m rummaging through your purse. I always go for it while the browser is still up before it reverts back to the splash screen. Haven’t had to learn a password yet.

BANSHEE: What is wrong with you?

LOKI: I want attention.

BANSHEE: You do this kind of crap all the time, don’t you?

LOKI: My shrink told me I have a behavioral problem. I told him I wouldn’t be paying for the last 2 months of therapy because I wasn’t there, I just sent my decoy.

BANSHEE: Why would you make those appointments and then not show up?

LOKI: To mess with him.

BANSHEE: Stupid question. Okay, seriously, nobody called you?

LOKI: They never do.

BANSHEE: Why?

LOKI: The pranks.

BANSHEE: What did you do?

LOKI: To who, specifically?

BANSHEE: You mean you’ve managed to &!$$ off every tenno in the galaxy and now nobody calls you anymore? You’ve actually accomplished that?

LOKI: It was on my bucket list. Rhino was the easiest. I emptied out his jug of whey powder in the trash, and then replaced it with chocolate milk mix. It took him a month to figure out he was drinking Nesquik instead of protein shakes. He never forgave me.

BANSHEE: Didn’t you do the same thing to Ember?

LOKI: Kind of. I went into her fridge and replaced all the meat with tofu, then I swapped the propane tank on her grill with methane, so not only did she have a freezer full of vegetarian fake meat, but her barbecue smelled like farts for a week. That girl loves to grill. She never forgave me. Also, I refilled her shampoo bottle with barbecue sauce, but that girl is neck deep in burning infested all day, and still don’t think she’s noticed that the Sweet Baby Ray smell is coming from her.

BANSHEE: How did you get Trinity? She’s pretty mellow.

LOKI: Told her that Dumbledore dies in that one Harry Potter book. Nyx was there, she started laughing, so I listed off every Game of Thrones character that dies in every book. She’s still in season 2 on netflix and she hasn’t even seen half the characters whose deaths I’ve already spoiled.

BANSHEE: Really?

LOKI: She totally lost it, it was great. Saryn thought it was pretty funny too, then I got her. Poured out all her laundry detergent and refilled it with bleach, now all her black goth clothes are grey. She told me if she ever caught me alone she’d cast contagion on a fork and stab me with it until I got cancer.

BANSHEE: Jesus Christ.

LOKI: Excalibur was easy, I just unslotted his slash dash. Mag was easier. I unslotted his radial javelin.

BANSHEE: What about Volt?

LOKI: I followed him around for a whole day with a gym bag full of that spray-on truckbed liner you can get at automotive stores, and every time he tried to zap something I’d just run in front of him and paint down an insulating layer of rubber to sap his voltage.

BANSHEE: That’s not even funny.

LOKI: No, that’s hilarious. But what was really great was when I broke into Frost’s apartment and sabotaged his air conditioner.

BANSHEE: Wait... How did you get me?

LOKI: I’ve been doing that airplane trick on your phone for like the last 3 months. Also, every time you’re not looking I turn down the volume on your ipod and your stereo, so that you think you’re losing your hearing.

BANSHEE: THAT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME?

LOKI: You’re not going to forgive me for this are you?

BANSHEE: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME? ME, THE TENNO WHO KILLS PEOPLE WITH SOUND? Do you have any idea how important my hearing is to my job?

LOKI: Well, yea. That’s why I thought it was so funny.

BANSHEE: You’re sick Loki. Really sick. What the hell! I had an appointment with an ENT specialist and everything!

LOKI: Yea I got you really good.

BANSHEE: No wonder nobody calls you. I hope the new guy knows what a scumbag you are.

LOKI: Oh he will, I just reloaded his Hek with hot dog wieners this morning. They fit perfectly down the barrel of a shotgun.

 

Wait. How did he get Ash? And what's he gonna do to Nova?

Edited by Shadow-Blades
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Doozy84

Doozy84

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Posted

I'm interested as hell in this, can you name any book in particular you've read or name a source where you've found this info? I mean, I'm going to go and look myself, but I'd absolutely love to see where you've seen/read/heard any of the things you just mentioned. Especially some of the more militant things. 

 

brief_hist_celts__90227.jpg

This is pretty much the gold standard.

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Necromonger2100

Necromonger2100

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Posted (edited)

That's on my read list now too. Now I have a question for doozy. Have you gotten any books published yet? Just curious, because I'm out of books to read this summer so I'm re-reading the Inheritance books.

 

Edit: also, did anyone notice that at the bottom of the book civilization is spelled incorrectly with a s instead of a z?

Edited by Necromonger2100
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gvgeri

gvgeri

Posted
Posted

That's on my read list now too. Now I have a question for doozy. Have you gotten any books published yet? Just curious, because I'm out of books to read this summer so I'm re-reading the Inheritance books.

 

Edit: also, did anyone notice that at the bottom of the book civilization is spelled incorrectly with a s instead of a z?

 

Maybe that's the way celts wrote it.

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Doozy84

Doozy84

Posted
Posted

Maybe that's the way celts wrote it.

no, its a dialectical difference. Like how British people spell color as "colour" and honor as "Honour"

and how they spell food as "fish and chips" even though British food isn't food at all.

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