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We want cup holders!


Sorenxoras
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I spilled my Coffee prime this afternoon on the way to fight the grineer! And then I failed my exterminate mission due to lack of legendary orokin enhancement drinks! All of this could have been avoided if we had been granted the glory of cupholders!

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What?

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Cupholders are Love, Cupholders are life.

 

I was only 9 years old. I loved Coffee Prime so much. But one day durring an exterminate mission I spilled it. It was then I realized... I needed a Cupholder.

 

I Pray to Cupholders every night before bed, wanting them to become a part of me. To hold my Coffee Prime in it's sweet embrace.

 

Cupholders are love. I say. Cupholders are life.

 

The Lotus hears me. She tells me to get out of the pink wall and go kill some Corpus.

 

I knew she was just jealous of my devotion to Cupholders.

 

I refuse. Stating that I will not move until I get my Cupholder. 

 

M'Lotus scolds me harshly and revokes a Mastery Rank from my Profile. 

 

I'm crying now, and my Coffee Prime is still all over the floor. 

 

I stand in this wall, and it's really cold. They need to hook up central heating in this Relay.

 

A warmth is moving towards me.

 

I feel something holy and warship-able touch me. 

 

It's Pimp-Master Cupholder.

 

I am so happy.

 

He whispers into my ear: "Your coffee is mine."

 

He grabs my Coffee Prime cup and hands it to me.

 

I am ready.

 

The pink, fluffy wall slowly disbands.

 

It hurts so much, to get up off my pink butt and move away from my friends, but I do it for Cupholders. 

 

I can feel my cup shaking, begging to be filled and placed. 

 

I fill it. 

 

I want a Cupholder. 

 

The cup, and the beat, drop as Pimp-Master Cupholder accepts my Coffee Prime onto him.

 

DE walks in. 

 

Pimp-Master Cupholder looks them straight in the eye's and says: "Its all Holder now."

 

Pimp-Master Cupholder leaves in my Liset. 

 

Cupholders are love, Cupholders are life.

 

 

 

Edited by Spartan336
Fixing things.
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