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I need a girlfriend.

(PSN)ArchangelTristan

By (PSN)ArchangelTristan,
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You are mistaking the definition of "need" and "want," which most people do in this accelerating age.

You need someone you can spend time with and have fun, you need love.

You want someone that shares a intimate relationship with.

You don't need a girlfriend, you want a girlfriend which I think most straight males want one as well, but it's not a necessity, love from friends and family however is a necessity to sustain your mental health. 

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Danjal777

Danjal777

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Well kiddo, boy are you in luck!  

Step one: erase all expectations and assumptions about what a relationship is.  Every single couple is engaging in a frontier of romance, forging their own path through life together.  If you have a preconceived ideas of how it is supposed to work, it will almost certainly fail.  So in other words, just go with the flow.

Step two: who do you want to meet? I don't mean someone you know, more like qualities you find appealing or attractive.  Once you figure this out, you are far more likely to find someone you like.  If you are into nice girls that want to settle down, dive bars are probably not the right place...If you're looking for rode hard alcoholics though, you're heading in the right direction!  More practically, if you're into goth girls, go to goth places.  More naturally however, just go to places where you want to be, if there's a girl there, then you already both have something in common.  Don't go places with goal of getting a girlfriend...Real life RNG is at play here, you will get burnt out, appear desperate and creepy, and likely just end up at home frustrated.

Step three: online dating works!  I met my wife online, she started out as a pen pal, I would just chat with her when I was bored and eventually I get to know her better than I had know anyone in my life, she knew me in and out.  In essence, I fell in love with her as a person before I actually laid eyes on her.  So don't be scared to send a message to a pretty girl, she may think you're a good looking guy yourself. 

Step four: make a move, we live in a world where the guy is supposed to initiate a conversation.  Sure some girls don't have time for shy guys and just dive in, but most girls are really as nervous as you are about the whole thing.  The most important part of this step is respect.  You must respect her, a relationship is like a business partnership for living life.  When you enter that partnership, it should be with the intent to enrich both parties' lives.  

Step four: rejection is part of life.  If she didn't like you, that is as much her fault as it is yours.  Maybe she isn't attracted to you, maybe you overdid it, maybe she's just having a bad day.  All you can do is smile, and move on.  Do not...Pretend to be someone you are not, most girls don't like super macho (plus the ones who do are pretty shallow), just be you...You will come out in the wash eventually anyway, you might as well open with it.  If she doesn't like you for who you are, then she missed out, not you, and you dodged a bullet.

Step five: have realistic standards.  There is beauty in every girl, chances are they don't see what you see.  If you like a girl, then like her for who she is, not what she looks like.  I don't mean that you can only date busted ladies, just that, if you decide that a supermodel is the only thing you will date...Then you will probably be looking for a long long time, and you missed out on a ton of fantastic people.

Step six: the first date.  Don't overthink this, it has nothing to do with the place you go and the things you do.  If you got her to go on a date with you there are only two possibilities: she wants a free meal, or she wants to get to know you.  If she's in it for food (which is an alarming trend) the at least enjoy your time with her, and if she doesn't act interested, don't force it.  Be a gentleman.  If she likes you, the little cues will let you know, the biggest cue is if she wants a second date.  

Step seven: don't be a #$&(%.  There is nothing wrong with sending her a text the next day letting her know you had a good time and are looking forward to the next time you get to see her.  Hiding for three days before casually responding is manipulative and rude.  If she does this to you, move on immediately.  This is abusive behavior, no one deserves that crap.

Finally, get out there, be natural.  Now OP, if you posted this without actually wanting some advice, sorry, but maybe someone else will find my advice useful.  

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MagPrime

MagPrime

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3 hours ago, Danjal777 said:

Well kiddo, boy are you in luck!  

Step one: erase all expectations and assumptions about what a relationship is.  Every single couple is engaging in a frontier of romance, forging their own path through life together.  If you have a preconceived ideas of how it is supposed to work, it will almost certainly fail.  So in other words, just go with the flow.

Step two: who do you want to meet? I don't mean someone you know, more like qualities you find appealing or attractive.  Once you figure this out, you are far more likely to find someone you like.  If you are into nice girls that want to settle down, dive bars are probably not the right place...If you're looking for rode hard alcoholics though, you're heading in the right direction!  More practically, if you're into goth girls, go to goth places.  More naturally however, just go to places where you want to be, if there's a girl there, then you already both have something in common.  Don't go places with goal of getting a girlfriend...Real life RNG is at play here, you will get burnt out, appear desperate and creepy, and likely just end up at home frustrated.

Step three: online dating works!  I met my wife online, she started out as a pen pal, I would just chat with her when I was bored and eventually I get to know her better than I had know anyone in my life, she knew me in and out.  In essence, I fell in love with her as a person before I actually laid eyes on her.  So don't be scared to send a message to a pretty girl, she may think you're a good looking guy yourself. 

Step four: make a move, we live in a world where the guy is supposed to initiate a conversation.  Sure some girls don't have time for shy guys and just dive in, but most girls are really as nervous as you are about the whole thing.  The most important part of this step is respect.  You must respect her, a relationship is like a business partnership for living life.  When you enter that partnership, it should be with the intent to enrich both parties' lives.  

Step four: rejection is part of life.  If she didn't like you, that is as much her fault as it is yours.  Maybe she isn't attracted to you, maybe you overdid it, maybe she's just having a bad day.  All you can do is smile, and move on.  Do not...Pretend to be someone you are not, most girls don't like super macho (plus the ones who do are pretty shallow), just be you...You will come out in the wash eventually anyway, you might as well open with it.  If she doesn't like you for who you are, then she missed out, not you, and you dodged a bullet.

Step five: have realistic standards.  There is beauty in every girl, chances are they don't see what you see.  If you like a girl, then like her for who she is, not what she looks like.  I don't mean that you can only date busted ladies, just that, if you decide that a supermodel is the only thing you will date...Then you will probably be looking for a long long time, and you missed out on a ton of fantastic people.

Step six: the first date.  Don't overthink this, it has nothing to do with the place you go and the things you do.  If you got her to go on a date with you there are only two possibilities: she wants a free meal, or she wants to get to know you.  If she's in it for food (which is an alarming trend) the at least enjoy your time with her, and if she doesn't act interested, don't force it.  Be a gentleman.  If she likes you, the little cues will let you know, the biggest cue is if she wants a second date.  

Step seven: don't be a #$&(%.  There is nothing wrong with sending her a text the next day letting her know you had a good time and are looking forward to the next time you get to see her.  Hiding for three days before casually responding is manipulative and rude.  If she does this to you, move on immediately.  This is abusive behavior, no one deserves that crap.

Finally, get out there, be natural.  Now OP, if you posted this without actually wanting some advice, sorry, but maybe someone else will find my advice useful.  

I'm gonna need your DNA so I can clone you.

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-HAKUNA-YOUR-TATAS-

-HAKUNA-YOUR-TATAS-

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I'm telling you bro you really don't.  Imagine having every console, a badass gaming PC (6700k, GTX 1080 SLI) on a 55" curved TV and not being able to play/enjoy them most waking hours of the day because your gf/wife says no.  LMAO.

(err yeah this is my reality.)

oh and while you're on your search.... this kind of mentality is healthy/helpful...

agda3xk_700b.jpg

Good luck.  ;)

Edited by -HAKUNA-YOUR-TATAS-
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