New Contest: Carol of the Tenno

Kinesis · December 12, 2017

Let It Snow - Vaughn Monroe

Let us Farm

Spoiler

Oh, farming outside is frightful
But this place is so delightful
And since we have Hydriod with us
Let us farm! Let us farm! Let us farm!

It doesn't mean we're doing nothing
And I've brought Nova for popping
This farming is a great success
Let us farm! Let us farm! Let us farm!

When we finally pass 10 minutes
Of course we are gonna do more
But if Nekro isn't doing anything
I don't think we are gonna do more

Hydroid's damage is slowing dying
And, my dear, we're still farming
But as long as we have a damage dealer
Let us farm! Let us farm! Let us farm!

When we finally reach 30 minutes
I think that we've done enough
But if you guys are okay
I don't mind going for more

Hydroid's damage is slowing dying
And, my dear, we're still farming
But as long as we have a damage dealer
Let us farm! Let us farm! Let us farm!

Edited December 12, 2017 by WardenKarma

Beni-iroKage · December 12, 2017

A Visit From St. Nicholas - Clement Clarke Moore (1779-1863)

Spoiler


‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the Dojo  
Not a creature was stirring, not even a Kubrow;  
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,  
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there;  
The Tenno were nestled all snug in their cryopods,
While visions of sugar-plums danced in the Operator's head;  
And Lotus in her ’kerchief, and I in my cap,  
Had just settled our brains for a long winter’s nap,  
When out of the airlock there arose such a clatter,  
I sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,  
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.  
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow  
Gave the lustre of mid-day to asteroids below,  
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a miniature sleigh, and eight tiny reindeer,  
With a little old driver, so lively and quick,  
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.  
More rapid than Condrocs his coursers they came,  
And he whistled, and shouted, and called them by name;
“Now, Dasher! now, Dancer! now, Prancer and Vixen!  
On, Comet! on, Cupid! on, Donder and Blitzen!  
To the top of the porch! to the top of the wall!  
Now dash away! dash away! dash away all!”  
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky;  
So up to the Dojo-top the coursers they flew,  
With the sleigh full of Toys, and St. Nicholas too.  
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof  
The prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head, and was turning around,  
Down the exhaust vent St. Nicholas came with a bound.  
He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,  
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot;  
A bundle of Toys he had flung on his back,
And he looked like Darvo just opening his pack.  
His eyes—how they twinkled! his dimples how merry!  
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!  
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow  
And the beard of his chin was as white as the snow;
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,  
And the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath;  
He had a broad face and a little round belly,  
That shook when he laughed, like a bowlful of Chimurr.  
He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself;  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;  
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
And filled all the stockings; then turned with a jerk,
And laying his finger aside of his nose,  
And giving a nod, up the exhaust vent he rose;  
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,  
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle,  
But I heard him exclaim, ere he drove out of sight,
“Heya Kiddo, Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night.”

TheSteelRat · December 12, 2017

Song: Jingle bells

Composer: James Lord Pierpont

Dashing to and fro

Corrupted in the way
Running out of ammo
Slice them all away

Taking anything
From the fissure, bright
What fun it is to slay and sing
your Slaying song tonight

Baro sells! Baro sells!
Ducats are the way.
From the void, the other side
Prime parts you must give for Trade

Equip relic, lets go
reactant you collect
get 10 be full it show
those void traces we checked

At extraction you can choose
Which prime you get to keep
the countdown is like fuse
Those prime parts now a heap

Baro sells! Baro sells!
Ducats are the way.
From the void, the other side
Prime parts you must give for Trade

You look a bit confused
your buff? Psychedelics
Traces can be used
Refining all those relics

To the relay you must go
trade prime part at kiosk
Some friday Baro show
and the place will be a Mosque!

Baro sells! Baro sells!
Ducats are the way.
From the void, the other side
Prime parts you must give for Trade

Omega-eg · December 12, 2017

I am never going to come up with a song ha ha

RustyScooty · December 12, 2017

Original Title: Jingle Bell Rock from Glee

My Title: Tennobaum Rocks

Tennobaum, Tennobaum, Tennobaum rocks
Darvo's sales swing and platinums clink
Shooting and blowing up grineer for fun
Now the jolly farming has begun

Tennobaum, Tennobaum, Tennobaum rocks
Stalker chimes in jolly farm time
Dancing and prancing in Maroo's Bazaar
In the frosty globe.

What a bright time, it's the right time
To farm the night away

Jingle bell time is a swell time
To go playing with a one-eyed kavat
Shimmy up and wiggle friends, pick up your feet
Jingle around the octavia

Mix and a-mingle to the rippling beat
That's the jolly beats,
That's the jolly beats,
That's the jolly beats rock

Edited December 12, 2017 by RustyScooty

theraot · December 12, 2017

The Maggots all the way

(Original: The One Horse Open Sleigh by James Lord Pierpont - a.k.a Jingle Bells)

Spoiler

Dashing through the snow
It's a Frost with Ice Spring
To the plains we go
Freezing all greenier

The toxins are from Saryn
They make infested die
Vauban is the one I see
Slaying Eidolons tonight

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to fly
Titania on the plains, hey!

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to fly
Titania on the plains

---

A day or two ago
To a contest I applied
And soon this Mirage Prime
Was added to my life

The fierce Ember was hot
This prime vault was unluck
She got into a relic and
then that we kept intact

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to play
Octavia's Mandachord, hey!

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to play
Octavia's Mandachord

---

Now Limbo slides
So roll and get that undone
Take Valkyr tonight
And slay the corpus' drones

Just get a Volt and Mag
For magnetize and speed
Then Banshee to a Sonic Boom
And Quake! the sentient leaves.

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In Archwing all the day, hey!

Nidus Left Nidus Left
Maggots all the way
Oh! what fun it is to ride
In Archwing all the day

Edited December 13, 2017 by theraot
Improved line "The worst Ember was not" to "The fierce Ember was hot" - did I get disqualified? I hope by editing it does not count as reserving. Certainly editing has better chances than posting a second entry.

Stormwolf597 · December 12, 2017

Ok heres my attempt, hope you all enjoy!

Good King Nidus
(Good king Wenceslas by John Mason Neale)

Good king Nidus looked out
On the feast of Tennobaum
When the snowglobes were about
Clear and crisp and round

Brightly shone Ember that night,
Tho the Stalker was lurking
When a poor Clem came in sight
Grakata barely working

Hither Nyx come stand by me,
If thou knowst it, telling
Yonder Grineer, who is he?
Where and what his Dwelling?

Sire he lives a good league hence
In Larunda relay
Within Darvo's little shop
By the lander bay

Bring me Grakatas, bring me Ammo,
Bring me platinum hither!
Thou and I shall buy their wares
When we bear him thither

Nidus and Nyx, forth they went
Forth they went together
Through the stalkers wild lament
And his wicked temper

Sire the ship grows darker now
And the stalker stronger
Fails my heart I know not how
I can go no longer

Mark my Virulence good my Nyx
Tread thou in them boldly
Thou wilt find the stalkers tricks
Freeze thy blood less coldly

In her leader's polyps she trod
Where the ground lay infested
Health was in the very sod
Which the Nidus had printed

Therefore, Tenno & Clem's, be sure
Wealth or rank possessing
Those who now will bless the poor
Shall yourselves find blessing

Edited December 12, 2017 by Stormwolf597

(PSN)YungGrey90 · December 12, 2017

Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer by Robert L. May

Quote

You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen,

Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen,

But do you recall?

The most famous Kubrow of all?

Randy the red-nosed kubrow

Had a very shiny nose,

And if you ever saw him,

You would even say he growls,

All of the other Kubrow,

Used to laugh and call him names (Like tenno dog)

They never let poor Randy,

Join in any Kubrow games (Like Lunaro)

Then one foggy Plague Star Eve,

Frost came to say:

"Randy with your nose so bright, won't you guide my squad tonight?"

Then how the Kubrow loved him,

As they howled out with glee (yippee!),

Randy the red-nosed kubrow,

You'll go down in history!!!

(PSN)DeadSpyder · December 12, 2017

Ivara! Ivara!

(in the Tune Of Jingle Bells by James Lord Pierpont)

Dashing through the sky
in a one-rope air ballet
O'er the plains we go
Shooting all the way

Whips on Mios ends
Making Grineers die
What fun it is to shoot and slide
A killing song tonight!

Ivara!, Ivara!,
Kill'em all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to slay
In a one-rope air ballet.

Ivara!, Ivara!,
Kill'em all the way.
Oh! what fun it is to slay
In a one-rope air ballet.

mchaggis79 · December 12, 2017

I'm sure this will be terrible, but here goes. The original is 12 days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the second day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the third day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the fourth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the fifth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the sixth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the seventh day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the eighth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Eight host migrations
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the ninth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Nine Tenno swearing
Eight host migrations
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the tenth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Ten random deaths
Nine Tenno swearing
Eight host migrations
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the eleventh day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
Eleven newbs a leaching
Ten random deaths
Nine Tenno swearing
Eight host migrations
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

On the twelfth day of Christmas
my Fellow Tenno sent to me:
12 Whiners Whining
Eleven newbs a leaching
Ten random deaths
Nine Tenno swearing
Eight host migrations
Seven Snipers Sniping
Six Nitain alerts
Five Hot Fixes
Four Formas wasted
Three 20% plat discount log in rewards
Two Useless weapons
and a Tonkor grenade back in my own face

(PSN)Randomly990 · December 12, 2017

Silent Night by Franz Xaver Gruber & Joseph Mohr

Tenno night

Silent night, tenno night!
All is clem, primes are bright
Round yon lotus, tenno and frame
Holy Umbra so tender and mild,
Sleep in orokin peace,
Sleep in orokin peace

Silent night, tenno night!
Primes quake at the sight.
Glories streams from Luna afar
grineer sing out in fear
excalibur Umbra is here

Giantconch · December 12, 2017

The Twelve Days of Limbomas

On the first day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the second day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the third day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the fourth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the fifth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, FIVE FAILED RAIIIIDS! four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the sixth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAAIIIIIDSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two Salty saryns and a calaclysm with a time freeze

On the seventh day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIIDDSSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the eighth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, eight forma blueprints seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIDSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the ninth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, nine mobile defense eight forma blueprints seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIDSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the tenth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, ten hacking ciphers nine mobile defense eight forma blueprints seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIDSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the eleventh day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, eleven Ayatan stars ten hacking ciphers nine mobile defense eight forma blueprints seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIDSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns and a cataclysm with a time freeze

On the twelfth day of Christmas a Limbo gave to thee, twelve Seer rivens eleven Ayatan stars ten hacking ciphers nine mobile defense eight forma blueprints seven frozen rockets six Kuva siphons FIVE FAILED RAIIIDSSSS, four rage quitters three banished Corpus two salty Saryns
And a Cataclysm with a time freeze!

Siyo · December 12, 2017

Original Tune - Santa Claus is Coming to Town -

Stalker Claus is Coming to Town-

You better load up,
And Keep a close eye
Don't use that forma,
I'm telling you why;
Stalker Claus is coming to town.

He's out for your blood,
it's going to be horrid,

he's after the one who killed Phorrid
Stalker Claus is coming to town.

He sees you when you're farming,
He knows if you're afk.
He knows if you've been farming bosses,
So load up for goodness sake!

O! You better load up!
And Keep a close eye.
Better not solo,
I'm telling you why:
Stalker Claus is coming to town,
Stalker Claus is coming to town.

Parody By: Siyo (Aka: Me.)

(Same entry as last year, slightly edited)

Eliterulz3 · December 12, 2017

Jingle Bells by James S. Pierpont. Tigris Shells

Flying through the plains

In a one-seat open wing

O'ver Grineer we go

Laughing as we sing

Capturing their base

Making the Queens cry

What fun it is to slice and dice

and watch their blood go high

Tigris shells, infested smells

Blasting all the way

Oh what fun is it to grind

A defence or two today, hey

Tigris shells, dual wielding knells

Blasting all the way

I just found some endo here

In an Ignis spray

A cycle to two ago

I went outside to fight

An Eidolon Teralyst

Open in the night

We couldn't get any lures

because we had no support

The Eidolon just knocked us out

making us fall short

Infested smells, tigris shells

Blasting all the way

Oh what fun is it to grind

A defence or two today, hey

Infested smells, dual wielding knells

Blasting all the way

I just found some endo here

In an Ignis spray

Not that long ago

Stalker came to me

All I had was a

Level 5 Banshee

He drew upon his War

Determining my fate

My clan went in and took him out

And all he dropped was Hate

Infested smells, tigris shells

Blasting all the way

Oh what fun is it to grind

A defence or two today, hey

Infested smells, dual wielding knells

Blasting all the way

I just found some endo here

In an Ignis spray

Now the ground is dry

In the mystic Void

Take with you a Trin

And you won't be annoyed

Just get some Argon Crystals

Sprinting as you sparred

But watch out for the inevitable

Level 100 Corrupted Bombards

Infested smells, tigris shells

Blasting all the way

Oh what fun is it to grind

A defence or two today, hey

Infested smells, dual wielding knells

Blasting all the way

I just found some endo here

In an Ignis spray

TheLogicMage · December 12, 2017

I think i got one. The original is called Corpus Christi Carol, also known as Down in Yon Forest. My version is titled Down in the Void.

Spoiler

Down in the Void there stands a hall:

Orokin Naga Drums I heard them ring:

It's covered all over with Argon and pall