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Yezzik

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    New: Tenno Caroling Contest!

    in Contests

    Posted

    [Lo, She Comes With Patch Notes Bringing]

    Lo! She comes with patch notes bringing

    Once for hated exploits slain

    Thousand thousand tenno singing

    'board the glorious hype train

    "It's the Lotus! It's the Lotus! It's the Lotus!"

    She appears to us in-game

    All of chat shall now behold Red

    Puns of dread depravity

    Those who screencapped all and posted

    Upvotes flowing constantly

    Content playing, content playing, content playing

    Given unto us for free

    Every tileset, frame, and kubrow

    Weap'ns and mods, be buffed away

    All who fear nerfs must, enraged go

    Scream their outrage night and day

    Cry on Reddit! Cry on Reddit! Cry on Reddit!

    Cry on Reddit! Cry away!

    Now balancing, long desired

    Shall in powers changed appear

    Damage mods, by devs retired

    Now shall turn to Cores and gear

    "It's about time! It's about time! It's about time!"

    See the work of Scott appear!

    Answer calls of accounts damaged

    Hasten, Meg, and ease their fears!

    The new content quickly ravaged

    Tenno eager for new gear

    "So much grinding! So much grinding! So much grinding!"

    Forums flooded with their tears!

    The dear people in the Fan Zone

    Singing, drawing, writing too

    Cause of endless inspiration

    To those whom their work they view

    'cross the world, 'cross the world, 'cross the world

    Gaze we on that artwork new

    Come, DE! Let all support Thee

    By purchasing Platinum

    Sheldon, bring the hate upon ye

    For all those Tower 4 runs

    Not R-N-G! Not R-N-G! Not R-N-G!

    The Void Trader must soon come!

    ---

    Warframe: The Musical

    in Fan Zone

    Posted · Edited by Yezzik

    Using this as a home for all my songs from now on.

     

    What Do You Do With a Teammate That's Worthless/It Sucks to Be Three

    Originally: What Do You Do With a B.A. in English/It Sucks to Be Me

     


    FROST: What do you do with a teammate that's worthless?
    How bad's this run going to be?
    Ten seconds out and he's down for the count
    And his failure it might drag down me

    I don't have the Detron, cause everyone plays wrong
    The Brakk is a long way away
    But no I will not break, though this grind it might take
    A lifetime or end in a day

    EMBER: Morning, Rhino!
    RHINO: Hi, Ember.
    EMBER: How's the game?
    RHINO: Disappointing.
    EMBER: What's the matter?
    RHINO: We failed at the new event.
    EMBER: Oh, I'm sorry!
    RHINO: Me too! I mean, look at me! I'm geared to the teeth and I always thought...
    EMBER: What?
    RHINO: No, it sounds stupid.
    EMBER: Aw, c'mon!

    RHINO: When this run started, we had a full team
    Old friends from college, we were livin' the dream
    But now one's DCed and you know what that means
    OH GOD

    It sucks to be three
    It sucks to be three
    It sucks to lose friends and end up with PuGs who don't even CC
    It sucks to be three

    EMBER: You think that sucks?
    RHINO: I think so!
    EMBER: Your problems aren't so bad!

    EMBER: I'm in the queue and I'm waiting on groups
    Full squads all over, but no almost-filled troupes
    Then I get in a game and they're all fruit-loops
    So why... IS EVERYONE STUPID?
    Damn!

    EMBER: It sucks to see three
    It sucks to see three
    It sucks to see someone hit that pod with the LS at ninety
    It sucks to see three

    (NOVA and LOKI appear on the scene, arguing intensely about who just cost them their latest Defense game)

    RHINO: Nova, Loki, can you settle something for us, do you have a second?
    LOKI: Ah, certainly.
    RHINO: Whose groups suck more, Ember's or mine?
    NOVA: Pfft!
    NOVA and LOKI: Ours!

    NOVA: We play together
    LOKI: We've done so for years
    NOVA: Levellin' to thirty
    LOKI: While knockin' back beers

    NOVA: But now I'm draggin' this scrub up by his ears
    You don't try to at least be the best!
    LOKI: It's a game, not a &!$$ing contest!

    NOVA: You waste energy, you don't forma your gun!
    LOKI: Oh yeah? You mash your 4 key and mistake it for fun!
    NOVA: You make me want to quit with every failed run!
    LOKI: So do you, that's why I might quit too!

    NOVA: It sucks with Loki!
    LOKI: No, it sucks to play free
    RHINO: It sucks to be three!
    EMBER: It sucks to see three!
    ALL: Is there any group in here it doesn't suck to see?
    It sucks to be three!

    (EXCALIBRO appears)

    EXCAL: Why are you all so happy?
    EMBER: Because our runs suck!
    EXCAL: Your runs suck? Am I hearing you guys correctly? HA!

    EXCAL: See I'm a starter, a very good pick
    My CC's useful and I move round so quick
    But when you see me you assume that I'm thick
    For my choice of frame!
    You call me a noob!
    But I have played others!
    And I prefer this one!
    And I just want to play for fun!

    EXCAL: It sucks when you're mean!
    It sucks when you're mean!
    I say it sucks when you think that you're so much better than me!
    It sucks when you're mean!

    FROST: Excuse me?
    EMBER: Hey there.
    FROST: Sorry to bother you, but I'm looking for a clan to join.
    EXCAL: Why're you looking here in Region?
    FROST: Well, I started in Recruiting, but nobody seems to want me.
    But this place seems a lot friendlier!
    RHINO: You need to talk to the clan leader. Let me go get him.
    FROST: Great, thanks!
    RHINO: Yo, Bonedaddy!
    NEKROS: I'm comin', I'm comin'...
    FROST: Nekros? What are you doing outside of Survival?
    NEKROS: I don't know either!

    NEKROS: I main a Nekros, my 3 key's broke apart
    My 1 and 2 are useless, but my 4's a work of art
    Survival's where I shine but I don't get to take part!
    But I'm here! The leader! Of this little clan!

    RHINO: It sucks to be three
    EXCAL: You win!
    EMBER: It sucks to see three
    LOKI: I feel better now!
    NEKROS: Try having people trolling you and saying
    "You didn't do any damage!"
    It gets old!

    NOVA: It sucks with Loki, it sucks with Loki
    LOKI: It sucks to play free
    EMBER: It sucks to see three
    RHINO: It sucks to be three
    EXCAL: It sucks when you're mean
    ALL: But not when we're together
    We're all different and we play this game!

    (I cut the rest of the ending out as I couldn't think of a way to make it work)

     
    Do You Wanna Ride a Kubrow?
    Originally: Do You Want to Build a Snowman?
     

    Tenno?
    Do you wanna ride a kubrow?
    Come on, let's go and fight!
    You never log in anymore
    Come play some more
    A new patch hit last night
     
    You used to be a ninja
    But now you've stopped
    I wish you would tell me why!
     
    Do you wanna ride a kubrow?
    It doesn't have to be a kubrow...
     
    "Go away, Lotus."
     
    "Okay, bye..."
     
    Do you wanna ride a kubrow?
    Or save the Red Veil from Death's halls?
    To win this war I need you too
    Because the Grineer have
    The Corpus by the balls
     
    ("Hang in there, Darvo.")
     
    It gets a little lonely
    All these empty nodes
    The starmap soon will die...
    (tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock tick-tock)
     
    Tenno?
    Please I know you're out there
    J3's been asking where you've been
    He says "We're back" and I fear for you
    They've come for me too
    Please help me win
     
    We're running an event
    With no RNG
    What would you like to do?
     
    Do you wanna ride a kubrow? 

     
    Tenno No. 5
    Originally: Mambo No. 5
     

    Ladies and gentlemen
    This is Tenno No. 5!
     
    One, two, three, four, five
    Everybody in the ship, so come on let's ride
    To the mission hub around the corner
    The boys say they want some nerfs and buffs
    But I really don't wanna
    Freak out, like I did last week
    I must stay deep, 'cause Bless was cheap
    I like Trinity, Saryn, Zephyr and Nova
    And as I levelled up I'd even used the Prova
    So what can I do? I really beg you, Darvo
    To me formaing is the way to go
    Potatoes too, they're all good let me buy some
    But please just discount them
     
    A little bit of Trinity's Blessing spam
    A little bit of Valkyr's Warcry can
    Increase all the damage that Mag does
    And keep Zephyr flying high above
    A little bit of Nova Priming rooms
    A little bit of Banshee's silent doom
    A little bit of Saryn and Ember too
    A little bit of Nyx controlling you
     
    Tenno No. 5!
     
    Super Jump up now, and slide it all around
    Banshee got a Quake of Sound
    Heavy Impact on the ground
    Wallrun to the left, and then to the right
    Sword in my hand and guns at my side
    Desecrate once, and Desecrate twice
    And if you get a second Brakk part you're doing it right
     
    A little bit of Trinity's Blessing spam
    A little bit of Valkyr's Warcry can
    Increase all the damage that Mag does
    And keep Zephyr flying high above
    A little bit of Nova Priming rooms
    A little bit of Banshee's silent doom
    A little bit of Saryn and Ember too
    A little bit of Nyx controlling you
     
    Discount!
    The discount!
    Tenno No. 5!
    (ha ha ha)
     
    A little bit of Trinity's Blessing spam
    A little bit of Valkyr's Warcry can
    Increase all the damage that Mag does
    And keep Zephyr flying high above
    A little bit of Nova Priming rooms
    A little bit of Banshee's silent doom
    A little bit of Saryn and Ember too
    A little bit of Nyx controlling you
     
    I do all I do
    To find the next OP frame, it's true
    You can't run and you can't fight
    Dread and Stug gonna ruin your night
     
    Tenno No. 5!

     
    All of my Mods
    Originally: Part of Your World
     

    Look at my frame, isn't it neat?
    Wouldn't you think that my grinding's complete?
    Wouldn't you think I'm the one
    The one who's maxed everything?
     
    Look at my mods, rating untold
    How many Trick Mags can one Tenno hold?
    Sort it by dupes and you'd think
    Sure, they've got everything
     
    I've got Riplines and Slash Dash a-plenty
    I've got Spare Parts and Regens galore
    You want Ammo Drums?
    I've got thousands
    But who cares? No big deal. I want cores
     
    I wanna see a full page of mods
    I wanna max, wanna max Serration
    Grindin' Xini for that
    Whaddya call it? Oh, stance
     
    Levellin' up, you don't get too far
    Mods are required for killin', survivin'
    Makin' it look like a
    What's that word again? Dance
     
    Up where they farm
    Up where they grind
    Up where they run Hieracon till they're blind
    Dark Sectors taxed, wish I could max
    All of my mods
     
    How much you bet that I don't get
    My Shock Absorbers?
    What is the fee in tower keys
    For Spoiled Strike?
     
    Betcha in chat it's on sale for Plat
    Bet they don't wanna trade for my stuff
    Void runs goin', sick of knowin'
    That my loot's duff
     
    I'm ready to go with the other Tenno
    Pimp out my Soma and cleave some Corpus
    What's a Vault run, and why's the loot
    What's the word? Rock
     
    Where's my Shell Shock?
    And my damage mods?
    Want so much power I feel like a god
    Stopped in my tracks, wish I could max
    All of my mods

     
    I Just Can't Wait to be Primed
    Originally: I Just Can't Wait to Be King
     

    I'm gonna be the greatest Prime
    My helmet's lookin' beast
    (I'm afraid the Ember master race)
    (Has already been released)
     
    I won't be tied to an event
    My content stands alone
    Run the Void to get my parts
    From the comfort of your home
     
    (You know, I think I'll just buy the pack)
    Not being seen is the new black
     
    No one playing Nova (It wasn't a nerf!)
    No one playing Valkyr (She's still great!)
    No one playing Rhino (He's balanced!)
    Loki everywhere (Can't see any!)
     
    Maximum Efficiency (I knew it)
    Spam Invisibility
     
    (I think it's time you used more than)
    (Just one ability)
    Why would I do that?
    They're just a waste of Energy
     
    (If this is what the playerbase is like then)
    (Count me out)
    (Playing Solo for my sanity)
    (No Loki Primes about)
     
    (These people between them have just one mind)
    Oh, I just can't wait to be Primed!
     
    Everybody play me
    Everybody press 2
    Best frame ever
    Sorry Ash, it's true (NO SKILL!)
     
    Let every Tenno 'cross the world cry out
    For every new Prime makes them wanna shout
    Phat loot is what this game is all about
     
    Want to Buy Loki Prime, price or get out
    Want to Sell, PST price or get out
    Want to Trade Loki Prime...
    (Loki Prime)
    Plat or get out!

     
    Be Our Host
    Originally: Be Our Guest
     

    Be our host! Be our host!
    Of T4 keys you've the most
    On the wave of your hard work, my friend
    We'd really love to coast
     
    Out the door
    Taunted by Vor
    Seems that he's come back for more
    I hope he drops
    Cicero mods
    In the meantime? Hit the pods
    Life Support, back to max
    Now resume all your attacks
    Cause he's soaked up all of my bullets and more
    Come on and use your powers
    Or else this might take hours
    Hit your four
    Again, hit four
    Hit your four!
     
    Shoot his gut
    Where it glows
    Please stop aiming for his nose
    Light him up with countless shots
    I've got my Ember burning hot
     
    Wait a second
    Can't be true
    Here's the Stalker chasing you
    Knowing my luck then we'll see
    A friendly visit from the G3
     
    Got ourselves some parkour tricks
    That we'll need lest we **** bricks
    Cause we've gotta take these guys
    Down right away
     
    Come on and join our crew
    We're all waiting for you
    Please host our run
    It'll be fun
    Don't forget to pack a gun
     
    Be our host! Be our host! Be our host!
     
    Hosting is so risky
    Every key a costly mystery
    Will we lose or will we get some worthless stuff?
    Ah, back when the tables weren't diluted...
    Now getting the things you want is rough
    Or you could buy it with Plat
    And while there's nothing wrong with that
    The Void does not need item duplicates
    Most runs are just a waste of hard-earned keys
    Waiting in Recruiting
    But we wanna get to shooting!
     
    Here we go! Here we go!
    Second run, we've hit our flow
    Best loadout, I've got no doubt
    And this time I'll put on a show
    Desecrate for extra packs
    Now we know where to attack
    Vor spawns again, to his dismay
    An Ogris blast then wrecks his day
    Nearly there, half hour in
    This is now a certain win
    Our cries of joy become a frenzied toast
     
    For once, what we want drops
    This run's not been a flop
     
    Thanks to you, our host!
    You're our host!
    You're our host!
    You're our host!
     
    Be our host! Be our host!
    Help us get what we want most!
    We're just waiting for a chance to get that gear
    And I will roast
    All our foes' flesh away
    Chain runs till the break of day
     
    While the corpses are a-glowing
    Fireballs I will keep throwing
    Mob by mob, one by one
    Till you shout "The keys are gone!"
     
    In Regional we'll cheer your name and boast
    Tonight we'll go all out
    Show Vor what we're about
     
    Be our host!
    Be our host!
    Be our host!
    Please, be our host!

     
    Stalker's Mom
    Originally: Stacy's Mom
     

    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
     
    Stalker, can you send your mom my way? (mom my way)
    I've been farming for her all day (for her all day)
    Does your mom drop both of those awesome whips? (awesome whips)
    And that dog, got a display case back on my ship (back on my ship)
     
    You know, I'm not the newb who used to die to Captain Vor
    Rank 15 and growing now, ready for one more
     
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    The droprate's bad, but I'll go till I succeed
    Stalker can't you see, you're just not the foe for me
    I know it might take long but I've been farming Stalker's mom
     
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
     
    Stalker, do you remember when I farmed for Hate? (farmed for Hate)
    Your mom drops loot that's 'bout twice as great (twice as great)
    I could tell she's deadly from the way I died (the way I died)
    Least I got the scan, at just the cost of my pride (the cost of my pride)
     
    And I know that you think it's just insanity
    But since I've got your stuff, your mom could stand to die to me
     
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need
    The droprate's bad, but I'll go till I succeed
    Stalker can't you see, you're just not the foe for me
    I know it might take long,
    but I've been farming Stalker's mom
     
    Stalker's mom has got the loot I need 
    The droprate's bad, but I'll go till I succeed
    Stalker can't you see, you're just not the foe for me, 
    I know it might take long but oh oh
    (I know it might take long) 
    I've been farming (Stalker's mom oh oh) 
    (Stalker's mom oh oh) 
    I've been farming Stalker's mom

     
    My Favourite Things
    Originally: Er... My Favourite Things?
     

    Shooting my Brakk in the enemy's faces
    Killing enough to exterminate races
    Crafting the weapons that each new patch brings
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    Scanning the Stalker and hoping I don't die
    Getting what I need from stuff on the first try
    Getting ideas whenever a host sings
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    Firing my Ogris and not dying as well
    Hoping all of these words I manage to spell
    Chilling with my kubrow living like kings
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    When it's Boar Prime
    When I can't rhyme
    When I'm playing bad
    I simply remember my favourite things
    And then I don't feel so sad
     
    Racing to catch up to my fellow players
    Hoping our targets have said all their prayers
    Wincing when I crit as that damage stings
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    Charging through lasers with my Iron Skin on
    Running the Void and then finding some Argon
    Jumping around like Excal's wearing springs
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    Levelling all of my gear to thirty
    Killing the Grustrags when they get too shirty
    Using Dread, hearing the twang of the strings
    These are a few of my favourite things
     
    When it's Boar Prime
    When I can't rhyme
    When I'm playing bad
    I simply remember my favourite things
    And then I don't feel so sad

     
    Baby Got Brakk
    Originally: Baby Got Back
     

    Oh, my, god. Megan, look at Glen's gun.
    It is so big. [scoff]
    It looks like one of those full-size shotguns.
    But, you know, who ever uses shotguns? [scoff]
    I never take them, because, my Sweeper uses those mods, 'kay?
    I mean, that Brakk, is just so big.
    I can't believe it's just so powerful, it's like, strong, I mean— gross. Look!
    It's just so... OP!
     
    I like shotguns and I can not lie
    You other tenno can't deny
    That when a Nyx shows up with a Boar in your face
    And a Pyrana just in case
    You get owned, wanna pull out your Dread
    'Cause you're loving them crits of red
    Thanks to your chaining Void runs
    Got six forma in all your guns
    Oh baby, I wanna grind witcha
    I'll never ditch ya
    My clanmates love that Boltor
    But this Hek I got helps me to slaughter
    Ooh, latest Prime gear
    You say you gonna kill more mobs?
    Well, 'scuse me, 'scuse me
    But I ain't that average newbie
    I put the boot in
    When I get to shootin'
    I got style, speed
    Gotta keep up to succeed
    I'm tired of rifle types
    Sayin' Soma or go home
    Take the average shotgun and mod it right
    It's gonna ruin their night
    So, tenno! (Yeah!) Tenno! (Yeah!)
    Has your shotgun got the goods? (Hell yeah!)
    Gotta shoot it! (Shoot it!) Shoot it! (Shoot it!)
    Shoot your favourite gun!
    Baby got Brakk!
     
    Baby got Brakk!
     
    I like to fight, up close
    And when it's me an' my bros
    I just can't help myself, I'm doin' mad parkour
    Check your waypoint marker
    I wanna run that Vault
    And yeah, Vicious Spread, yeah, yeah
    I ain't talkin' bout Heavy Cal
    Cause rifle mods go to my Dethcube pal
    I want it up close an' personal
    So grab your Strun or Phage
    And gird your rage
    We're gearin' up to engage
    So I'm lookin' at all our foes
    Crazy armies comin' to blows
    You can have them armies
    I'll keep killing my enemies
    A word to the guys like Darvo, now son you're my bro
    But betrayal's a no-go
    If you sell me out to your dad Frohd Bek
    Your faces I'll wreck
    This gun got some awesome tech
    From the guys sent by Vay Hek
    'Cause them G3 think I'm so weak
    Cause I fight like hide and seek
    But they're wrong, cause I'm strong
    An' I got the gun from this song
    So, Grineer! (Yeah!) Grineer! (Yeah)
    If you still think I'm just playin' here (Yeah!)
    Then come along! Prove me wrong!
    Bring the strongest of your strong
    Baby got Brakk!
     
    Baby got Brakk!
     
    So your girlfriend rolls an Ember, bringin' aerial death with Zephyr
    But Zephyr ain't built for melee, not like the badass Valkyr
    Her Hysteria will kill you
    Nothing you can do, to
    Stop all the close-range murder
    She hits like a steel girder
    Some brothers wanna play with Rhino
    And hide behind their skin of gold
    But it's just there for protection
    'Fraid I have to raise an objection
    Some players say we're bad
    But I just think they're mad!
    See our playstyles differ so you'd better not bicker
    Just 'cause our damage ain't bigger
    To the weaker names on the lista' frames:
    'Fraid you ain't my style!
    Give me a tank, without swank
    An' all the enemies I'll shank!
    I don't hate rifles, no
    Got a pimped out Soma, bro
    It's great but it's not my style
    Want a change once in a while
    So tenno, if you love your gun,
    Don't have to explain to no one
    Dial 0800-DPS
    And kick that damage out
    Baby got Brakk!
    Baby got Brakk!

     
    Flying With Archwings
    Originally: Flying Without Wings
     

    Everybody's looking for great content
    One patch that makes them want to weep
    And when you look at your friends' faces
    You see them smile at what they seek
     
    Some find it in the hard-fought battles
    Some find it in the grind itself
    Who can deny the joy it brings
    When your Foundry builds that thing
    You're flying with Archwings
     
    Some find it with their favourite weapon
    Some in a clan so full o' friends
    You'll find it in the livestreams constant
    Redtext there with jokes about rear ends
     
    You'll find it in your faithful kubrow
    In Ordis freaking out at Vor
    And when Update 15 goes live
    This game is gonna thrive
    You're flying with Archwings
     
    So, impossible as it may seem
    Devs want to make the ZoE fans scream
    I hope it rules, that game was so cool
    And the concept was neat
     
    Well, for me it's mowing down countless foes
    I love this fantasy of power
    To know that I can blow off my steam
    No matter what the day or hour
     
    It's when I hear the devs' excitement
    And see the love for their own work
    And it's like flying with Archwings
    I play, I like and sing
    I'm flying with Archwings
     
    We've all got what we love the most
    Tenno 'cross land and coast
     
    I'm flying with Archwings
    I hope you keep playing
    I'm flying with Archwings

     
    Spooky Scary Scorpions
    Originally: Spooky Scary Skeletons
     

    Spooky scary Scorpions
    Shoot snares, lasso you in
    Slashing strikes from sudden swords
    Will all but sear your skin
     
    Spooky scary Scorpions
    Scream 'bout tenno skoom
    You'll scan these soldiers constantly
    As you slide from room to room
     
    We're so sorry Scorpions
    Your stun it makes us scream
    And now the ancients have it too
    So this is a bad dream
     
    Cause spooky scary Scorpions
    Hate when Zephyrs soar
    They'll snap and try to sabotage
    Your spacebound search for gore
     
    Somas set up supercharged
    Shoot shots of scorching shock
    But shotguns with their multishot
    Are so savage they rock!
     
    Spooky scary Scorpions
    Are silly, makes me sigh
    They'll snatch up and then try to slay
    Squads of space samurai
     
    Saryn's Miasma it melts
    Stalker and Sargas Ruk
    Spooky scary Scorpions
    Will slow you cause you suck!

     

    Patch Times

    Originally: Blurred Lines

     

    Everybody download
    Everybody download
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey
     
    If you were here 'bout a year ago
    Vor's Prize was teased but we didn't know
    What it was gonna be
    Or when it would be live
    But now it's on my drive
    Everybody download
     
    First thing I see on load, is a brand new login screen
    It's finally that time, this is Update 14
    Just let me get my quest on
    Hey, hey, hey
    Starter mods for fusion
    Hey, hey, hey
    A guaranteed Serration
     
    And that's why I'm gon' take it real slow
    I know you'll rush it
    I know you'll rush it
    I know you'll rush it
    Cause it might go!
    Can't let it get Vaulted
    Or development halted
    So you've full-on assaulted
    I love these patch times
    I know you'll rush it
    I know you'll rush it
    I know you'll rush it
    Cause you're a gamer
    The way you're playin'
    Content that's stayin'
    Y'know what I'm sayin'
    Everybody download
     
    Got my own spaceship and
    Spacedog at my right hand
    Buildin' up to fight Vor
    Darvo helps me out 'cause I'm poor
    I'm just a tenno
    Hey, hey, hey
    With a starting Lato
    Hey, hey, hey
    Want the Mk-1 Bo
    Hey, hey, hey
     
    I got a problem though, the ship A.I. is insane
    It contradicts itself, like it's got a second brain
    Just let me get my kubrow
    Hey, hey, hey
    And feed it po-ta-to
    Hey, hey, hey
    So my dog clone army grows
    Hey, hey, hey
     
    And that's why I'm gon' grind some Argon
    I know they won't drop
    I know they won't drop
    I know they won't drop
    When I want them!
    Gotta get this quest done
    Before they Argon
    My God that's a bad pun
    Everybody download
    I love these patch times
    I know you'll love it
    I love them times
    I know you'll love it
    I love them times
    I know you'll love it
    Cause we've got story!
    Now it's completed
    And Vor's defeated
    Content depleted
     
    One thing I ask, DE
    Want the same again 'cross all I can see
    Got a whole starmap full of places
    Lotta people as well, but they're just faces
    So make 'em do stuff and give us more
    And that's the easy way to get to write more lore
    Game on, 'til we've got nothing left to do
    Get all the mods and the weapons too
    And get what we need to max 'em out
    Forma what you plan to wave about
    Then there's PvP, and while it's not for me
    It's just the sorta change that I wanna see
    So I'll just do my thing
    And leave it to the ones who care to win
    Lotsa hotfixes, there was a lot to mend
    Crazy boss scaling brought about my end
     
    Play the game, how you, want to
    Repair your liset, your liset
    Need a kubrow vet!
     
    Bought something to heal, my dog's integrity
    Decaying DNA, it's a liability, uh huh
     
    No more newb taxi
    Hey, hey, hey
    Pluto's locked for thee
    Hey, hey, hey
    Best play properly
     
    I always wanted a kubrow
    (Everybody download)
    I want to ride it
    I want to ride it
    I want to ride it
    She's a good girl
    Fuzzball is a Huras
    Foes she will harass
    And knock 'em on their @$$
    I love these patch times
    (Everybody download)
    You know we'll play it
    You know we'll rush it
    You know we'll clear it
    And then we'll want more!
    The way we're playin'
    Content that's stayin'
    Y'know what I'm sayin'
     
    Everybody download
    Everybody download
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey
    Hey, hey, hey

     

    Lo, She Comes With Patch Notes Bringing

    Originally: Lo, He Comes With Clouds Descending

     

    Lo! She comes with patch notes bringing
    Once for hated exploits slain
    Thousand thousand tenno singing
    'board the glorious hype train
    "It's the Lotus! It's the Lotus! It's the Lotus!"
    She appears to us in-game
     
    All of chat shall now behold Red
    Puns of dread depravity
    Those who screencapped all and posted
    Upvotes flowing constantly
    Content playing, content playing, content playing
    Given unto us for free
     
    Every tileset, frame, and kubrow
    Weap'ns and mods, be buffed away
    All who fear nerfs must, enraged go
    Scream their outrage night and day
    Cry on Reddit! Cry on Reddit! Cry on Reddit!
    Cry on Reddit! Cry away!
     
    Now balancing, long desired
    Shall in powers changed appear
    Damage mods, by devs retired
    Now shall turn to Cores and gear
    "It's about time! It's about time! It's about time!"
    See the work of Scott appear!
     
    Answer calls of accounts damaged
    Hasten, Meg, and ease their fears!
    The new content quickly ravaged
    Tenno eager for new gear
    "So much grinding! So much grinding! So much grinding!"
    Forums flooded with their tears!
     
    The dear people in the Fan Zone
    Singing, drawing, writing too
    Cause of endless inspiration
    To those whom their work they view
    'cross the world, 'cross the world, 'cross the world
    Gaze we on that artwork new
     
    Come, DE! Let all support Thee
    By purchasing Platinum
    Sheldon, bring the hate upon ye
    For all those Tower 4 runs
    Not R-N-G! Not R-N-G! Not R-N-G!
    The Void Trader must soon come!

     
    Into the Void
    Originally: Act One Prologue: Into the Woods
     

    LOTUS: Once upon a time--
     
    TRINITY: I wish...
     
    LOTUS: --in a nearby galaxy--
     
    TRINITY: More than Vandals...
     
    LOTUS: --lived a fair maiden--
     
    TRINITY: More than Primes...
     
    LOTUS: --a sad young lad--
     
    TRINITY: More than Wraiths...
     
    ASH: I wish...
     
    LOTUS: --and a primeless frame--
     
    ASH: More than buffs...
     
    TRINITY, VOLT: I wish...
     
    LOTUS: --or two.
     
    ASH: More than weapons...
     
    TRINITY, VOLT, ASH: More than content...
     
    BANSHEE: I wish...
     
    TRINITY: The devs have nerfed and broken me.
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: More than patches...
     
    ASH: I wish...
     
    TRINITY: I wish for buffs to my powers--
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: More than updates...
     
    TRINITY: --but mostly #4...
     
    ASH: I wish the devs would give me some love.
     
    TRINITY: BANSHEE: More than anything...
     
    VOLT: I wish we had some primes.
     
    ASH: Please, guys--
     
    BANSHEE: I want a prime...
     
    ASH: Don't tease, guys...
     
    TRINITY: I wish for my old Blessing back.
     
    ASH: I wish you'd fix my bugs, if just one ability...
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: I wish we might have a prime.
     
    ALL FOUR: I wish...
     
    NOVA: You wish for buffs to your abilities?
     
    LOTUS: The poor girl's ultimate had been nerfed--
     
    NOVA: You, Trinity, buffs? You wish to have some buffs?
     
    NYX: What, you, Trinity, and buffs? Buffs?!
     
    FROST: What, you wish to have some buffs?!
     
    ALL THREE: Some buffs?! Some ability buffs?!
     
    LOTUS: And the devs had buffed in her place--
     
    NOVA: Ability buffs?!
     
    LOTUS: --some frames with powers of their own.
     
    NYX: Look at your #1!
     
    FROST: Look at your #2!
     
    NOVA: We'd be carrying you--
     
    TRINITY: Nevertheless--
     
    TRINITY/NYX and FROST/NOVA: I still wish for buffs/You still wish for buffs/She still wants those buffs
     
    ALL FOUR: To abilities--
     
    NOVA, NYX, FROST: And run some Void content?!
     
    LOTUS: All three were good in a team, but vile and black of heart. Ash, on the other hand, had no nerfs, and his clanmate--
     
    EMBER: I wish...
     
    LOTUS: Well, she was not quite a team player--
     
    EMBER: I wish my friend knew how to play. I wish the dojo to be built. I wish the research to be done. I wish the clan was full of life--I wish a lot of things...
     
    (To Ash) You foolish newb! What are you doing wasting your Plat rushing things?
     
    ASH: The faster I get things built, the faster I can level them.
     
    EMBER: It's a waste! How many times do I have to tell you? You'll run out of resources.
     
    BANSHEE: Why, come in, little girl.
     
    MESA: I wish... It's not for me, it's for my friends inside the Void. A T1 key, please--To bring my poor beleaguered friends inside the Void... just a T1 key, please...
     
    LOTUS: Trinity's clan leader had a surprise for her.
     
    NOVA: I have unbuilt the dojo for you. If you have rebuilt it again in two hours' time, you can play with us.
     
    MESA: And perhaps a T2 one?... or four?...
     
    TRINITY: People in Regional, people in Trading, Recruiting, Alliance, in Council and Clan...
     
    MESA: ...and a few of those 3s, please...
     
    TRINITY: Come, fair people, over from Trading, and Alliance, over regions, out of Trading and Clan...
     
    ASH: No, please, guys...
     
    TRINITY: Ahhh...
     
    [A crowd enters the dojo]
     
    TRINITY: Come, fair people, please join my clan. Rush the builds, but swiftly, build all you can, and then we've got...
     
    EMBER: Listen well, Ash. You've got to stop rushing builds.
     
    ASH: But, Ember, no--I want this stuff now--
     
    EMBER: Tough. Tough! You'll get it in three days. You'll run out of money, and we'll be no further forward than if you hadn't.
     
    ASH: But this dojo is my favourite place in this game!
     
    EMBER: Look around you! The dojo's empty of plenty, the room builds are all stilled, there's nothing researching and we're just resource searching--
     
    ASH: But--
     
    EMBER: Ash, we've no time to sit and grind, while other clans leave us behind--and no one wastes their Plat on rushing weapons! Sometimes I fear you're touched.
     
    MESA: Into the Void, it's time to go, I hate to leave, I have to, though. Into the Void--it's time, and so I must begin the journey.
    Into the Void and loading screens, to help my friends, to help my team.
    Into the Void to fight the corrupt--
    Into the Void to fight the corrupt--
     
    BANSHEE: You're certain you're ready?
     
    MESA: I have the gear, it's formaed twice, my friends are strong and very nice.
    The mobs will just die, the parts will fetch a price. I sort of hate to ask more, but you have a Tower 4?
     
    VOLT: Don't stray and don't be late.
     
    BANSHEE: And remember to key share!
     
    MESA: Into the Void and to my friends, defend the pod until the end.
    Into the Void, these keys I'll spend to get myself some prime parts.
    Into the Void to bring my skills to aid my team their foes I'll kill.
    Maybe we'll have the Stalker still. Friends at my side, that would be a thrill.
    But into the Void, into the Void, into the Void to fight with my friends and home before death!
     
    Trinity: Fly, friends, back to your ships, back to Recruiting
    And Trading and the relays and the--
     
    NYX: Hurry up and fix my mods, Trinity! Are you really using that?
     
    FROST: Here, build my Soma up for DoTs, Trinity! I'm too busy to do that!
     
    TRINITY: There you go.
     
    NYX: About time.
     
    FROST: I'm still better.
     
    NYX: Now my secondary.
     
    FROST: How many waves?
     
    TRINITY: First they said I'm good, then I'm viable
    But #4's unreliable. So have nerfs, Trinity, fix, Trinity
    Nerf fix nerf fix--
     
    NYX: Melee!
     
    TRINITY: What's the fix for being nerfed and never ever buffs
    And you're always just told "tough?" Never mind, Trinity, kind Trinity--
    Nerf fix fix kind fix nerf--
     
    NYX: [she turns and slaps TRINITY] Not crit spec!
     
    TRINITY: Sorry.
     
    NYX: Idiot.
     
    [FROST laughs.]
     
    LOTUS: Because Volt had lost his Rhino Prime in a research accident--well, at least that is what he believed--he was eager to have a prime of his own, and concerned that all efforts until now had failed.
     
    [Knock on the door]
     
    VOLT: Who might that be?
     
    BANSHEE: We have sold our last key...
     
    VOLT: It's the Valkyr from next door!
     
    [VALKYR enters]
     
    BANSHEE, VOLT: We have no keys.
     
    VALKYR: Of course you have no keys!
     
    VOLT: What do you wish?
     
    VALKYR: It's not what I wish. It's what you wish. [she points to the research terminal.] Nothing cooking in there now, is there?
     
    LOTUS: The berserker went on to tell the pair that she had cursed them with a Vault key.
     
    VOLT: What key?
     
    VALKYR: In the past, when you were no more than a newbie, your clan leader brought his friends and you to this dojo. They were decent players, but not decent people. You see, one of them built this room and she was impatient. She took one look at the colour research and told your leader that what she wanted more than anything in the world was...
     
    VALKYR: Research, to colour the walls
    Yellows, purples, oranges and indigos
    Amaranth and bittersweet and lavender and umber
    He said "All right," but it wasn't quite
    Cause I caught him poaching guildies to farm mats one night!
     
    VALKYR: He was stealing friends, for his own ends,
    Grinding his cerulean,
    Stealing all my burgundy and maxing out his mustard
    (I was flustered! That took ages!)
    I should have cursed him with that key right there.
    Could have crippled his speed, or his health, or his shields.
    But I let him have the mustard, I'd lots to spare
    In return, however, I said "Fair is fair;
    You can let me have the frame that this room will bear.
    And we'll call it square."
     
    VOLT: I had a Banshee?
     
    VALKYR: No. But you had a Zephyr.
     
    LOTUS: But the Valkyr refused to tell him any more of his Zephyr. Not even that she still existed. She went on:
     
    VALKYR: I thought I had been more than reasonable, and that we might all live happily ever after. But how was I to know what your leader had also stolen from my dojo?! You see, when I had inherited that dojo, my leader had warned me that I would be punished if I were ever to lose any of the... greens.
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: Greens?
     
    VALKYR: The SPECIAL greens.
    I let him go, I didn't know he'd stolen my greens!
    I was watching him get back in his liset--!
    And then bang! Smash!
    Connection trashed!
    And--well, that's another story, never mind--anyway, at last
    The big day came and I made my claim
    "That took all of our oxium," they shrieked and screeched,
    But I did, and I hid her where she'll never be reached
    And your leader split, and the other quit
    When for extra measure--I admit it was a pleasure--
    I said, "Sorry, I still want one more hit."
    And I used a Vault key on them. You too, son.
    That your mission runs would always be damageless ones
     
    [Valkyr laughs]
     
    VALKYR: So there's no more thefts and there's no more scenes
    All my colours done--you should see the aubergine!
    But I'm telling you the same I tell the devs on-stream
    Don't ever never ever mess around with my greens
    Or I'll eat your spleens!
     
    EMBER: Now listen to me, Ash. Go into Recruiting and impress people with your skills. Make them want to recruit us. Are you listening to me?
     
    ASH: Yes.
     
    EMBER: Now what are you supposed to do?
     
    ASH: Go into Trading.
     
    EMBER, ASH: Recruiting! Not Trading.
     
    EMBER: Ash Ash Ash, wasting your cash,
    The dojo's always empty, this is not a time for grinding
    My game will crash, there's bugs with the cache
    The mobs are getting stronger, this clan's just trash
    The missions taking longer, we die in a flash
    And you can't just sit here building only gardens
    To wish and wait from day to day, will never earn you Battle Pay
    So into the Void, the time is now, we need that gear, I don't care how
    Into the Void to find a clan, you must begin the journey
    Straight to the Void and don't delay, we have to prove more than okay
    Into the Void or stay alone--
     
    ASH: Into the Void to lose my home--
     
    EMBER: Someday you'll have a real home, Ash.
     
    ASH: With gardens?
     
    LOTUS: Meanwhile, Valkyr, for purposes of her own, explained how Volt might restore his damage:
     
    VALKYR: You wish to have the key removed? A test for you, your skills to prove.
    Go to the Void and bring me back:
    One: The forma bright as light!
    Two: A mod as rare as gold!
    Three: The Stalker's rarest item!
    Four: The entire Soma Prime!
    Bring me these before the chime of midnight in three days' time,
    And you'll be able to grind, I guarantee, a Prime as perfect as Prime can be.
    Go to the Void!
     
    NOVA: Everyone, our key share awaits.
     
    TRINITY: Now may I play with you?
     
    NOVA: With us? Darling, those weapons! Darling, those mods!
    The dojo is one thing but darling, with those,
    You'd only make us all fail
    And waste all our keys!
     
    OBERON: The mission countdown begins.
     
    NOVA: We must be gone.
     
    TRINITY: Good night, Oberon. I wish...
     
    VOLT: Look what I found in the Chem Lab.
     
    BANSHEE: Six green pigments.
     
    VOLT: I wonder if they are the--
     
    BANSHEE: Valkyr's greens? We'll take them with us.
     
    VOLT: No! You are not coming.
     
    BANSHEE: I know you are fearful of the Void at night.
     
    VOLT: The key is on my frame. Only I can do this test. The key is on MY frame.
     
    BANSHEE: No, no, the key is on OUR frames. We must do the test together. The key is on OUR frames.
     
    VOLT: No. You are not to come and that is final. Now, what am I to return with?
     
    BANSHEE: You don't remember? The forma bright as light, a mod as rare as gold, the Stalker's rarest item, the entire Soma Prime--
     
    VOLT: The forma bright as light, a mod as rare as gold, the Stalker's rarest item, the entire Soma Prime...
     
    LOTUS: And so Volt, reluctantly, set off to meet Valkyr's demands. As for Trinity:
     
    TRINITY/VOLT: I still wish to get to play/The forma bright as light
    But how am I ever to get a group?/A mod as rare as gold
    I know! I'll make my own group/The Stalker's rarest item
     
    TRINITY/BANSHEE: And use my own key/The entire--
     
    TRINITY/VOLT: And I'll play Solo if need be/The entire Soma Prime
     
    TRINITY, VOLT: Into the Void, it's time to go, it may be all in vain you know. Into the Void--
    But even so, I have to take the journey
     
    VOLT, TRINITY, BANSHEE: Into the Void and loading screens, maybe alone or in a team--
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: Into the Void to remove the key--
     
    TRINITY: Into the Void to play the game--
     
    BANSHEE: Into the Void to fetch the things--
     
    VOLT: To pass the test--
     
    TRINITY: To make the group--
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE, TRINITY, ASH, EMBER: Into the Void without regret
    The choice is made, the task is set
    Into the Void but not forgetting why I'm (you're) on the journey
    Into the Void to get my (our) wish
    I don't care how, the time is now
     
    EMBER: Into the Void to get a clan--
     
    ASH: Into the Void to make the friends--
     
    BANSHEE: Into the Void to get the Primes--
     
    VOLT: To pass the test--
     
    TRINITY: To play the game--
     
    MESA: Into the Void to play with my friends...
    Into the Void to play with my friends...
     
    ALL: I have the gear, it's formaed twice, my party's strong and very nice.
    The mobs will just die, the parts will fetch a price.
    No need to be afraid there--
     
    VOLT, TRINITY: Did the lights just die there?
     
    ALL: Into the Void without delay, but careful not to lose the way
    Into the Void, who knows what may be lurking on the journey?
    Into the Void to get the thing that makes it worth the journeying
    Into the Void--
     
    NOVA, NYX, FROST: To share the keys--
     
    ASH, EMBER: To get the clan--
     
    VOLT, BANSHEE: To pass the test--
     
    ALL: To share--to get--to pass--to bring--to play--to lift--
    To run all the content!--
    Into the Void!
    Into the Void!
    Into the Void, then out of the Void, and home before death!

     
    Tenno in the Void
    Originally: Giants in the Sky
     

    There are tenno in the Void!
    There are big tall terrible tenno
    in the Void!
     
    When you're in the Void
    And you look around
    At Orokin tech
    On corrupted ground
    Little more than a theft
    Is enough to keep you
    In the black for years
     
    When you're in the Void
    And your friends are dead
    Cause a laser trap
    Caught them in the head
    And you shouldn't be there
    And you feel the dread
     
    You're caught, and caged
    Too scared to feel enraged
    Ensnared by foes you never knew
    And don't care to
    When suddenly there's
     
    A big tall terrible tenno in the Void
    A big tall terrible lady tenno
    Looking annoyed
    And she heals you up
    And gives you a gun
    And she helps you get
    Toward extraction
    And you know things now
    That you never knew before
    Not till the Void
     
    Only just when you think
    That the threat is gone
    And she'll get you home
    Back where you belong
    Well the lights go out
    And you hear a long
    And creepy whispering
     
    And she stops in place
    And she looks around
    And she crouches down
    Making not a sound...
     
    And it's then that you think
    Death won't be slow
    Cause you know the name
    Of your unseen foe
     
    It's time to go
    Your saviour starts to glow
    And she starts to shoot
    Cause she sees him there
    And the muzzle flare
    Becomes a glare
     
    His health, depleted he falls and hits the floor
    He's gone, though he lives and so he'll be back for more
    And he'll haunt you forever in your dreams
    Cause he knows your face and has time to scheme
    But you're still alive
    Only richer than before
    After the Void
     
    There are tenno in the Void!
    There are big tall terrible awesome scary wonderful
    tenno in the Void!

     

    When a Tenno Isn't Playing for Enjoyment

    Originally: When a Felon's Not Engaged in His Employment

     

    When a tenno isn't playing for enjoyment
    He's grinding for the parts to make a prime
    His gaming starts to feel like employment
    And he feels like it's all a waste of time
     
    Our Void keys we're with difficulty using
    When there's reputation grinding to be done
    But then we only get cores for the fusing
    And useful prime parts of course we get none
     
    When there's reputation grinding to be done, to be done
    Useful prime parts of course we will then get none
     
    When the G3 farmer sees she's wasted hours
    When they spawn and only drop neurodes again
    She shoots her half-built Brakk an angry glower
    And questions why she even plays this game
     
    When the content is exhausted save the hardest
    And the only loot that's left Rotation C
    Well I then find myself in need of a good rest
    Cause I'm sick and tired of weighted RNG
     
    When there's reputation grinding to be done, to be done
    Useful prime parts of course we will then get none
     
    When against your will you start to drown in forma
    As opposed to things you actually do need
    You feel the will to keep going drain from ya
    And you feel like you never will succeed
     
    Though we maximise our key rewards by sharing
    And grind all night until we see the sun
    The mission end screen makes us feel like swearing
    Useful prime parts of course we will then get none
     
    When there's reputation grinding to be done, to be done
    Useful prime parts of course we will then get none

     
    RNG
    Originally: Prince Ali
     

    DE
    Make way
    For RNG!
    Please play
    Our RNG!
     
    SHELDON
    Hey come on guys, got more stuff for you
    Hey you! Play it too--
    Got new things to do
    Oh come be the first in the game to get this gun!
    Make way!
    Here's the patch!
    Hotfixed!
    Now relax!
    Ah! Here comes more update fun!
     
    RNG -- don't cry it's free -- grinding old content
    Once again, blame it on Glen
    Innocent here!
    There's no problem with our game
    So log in and grind again!
    Then cry on the forums so I can taste your tears!
     
    RNG -- calm down, you see, it's future-proofing
    Makes games stay longer than they would otherwise
    We know what's best for all you!
    That's why you're not sat here too!
    What makes you farm till you're through?
    That's RNG!
     
    DE
    Ducat prices are rising every time
    Baro Ki'Teer comes out of the Void
    Though you think that his racket is a crime
    You don't gotta do
    All we add for you
    There's always stuff you can avoid!
     
    SHELDON
    RNG -- now I foresee, lots of complaining
    But your cries, for compromise, I will ignore
    So get yourself in the groove
    Through the hoops we make you'll move
    Until your skill you prove or quit and flee
     
    DE
    We've got ninety percent of all players
    (We've got the players!)
    (Let's get more players!)
    Grinding the Void for chances at primes
    (It's genius! So genius!)
     
    To RNGesus they say all their prayers
    Hope for better stuff--
    Beg for a buff--
    Leave in a huff--
    They're just sick of the endless grind
    And of the
    RNG!
     
    RNG -- will never be conquered or vanquished
    Though you try and deny feeling anguished
    When yet again the end screen
    Makes you say words really obscene!
     
    But if you're burned out
    There's other games
    Different genres
    With different names
    There's films and books, just gotta look
    Don't feel trapped cause you're free!
    Don't break!
    To RNG!

     
    Play My Game
    Originally: Say My Name
     

    Play my game, play my game
    Cause no one's in the PUG queue
    Want the Rift Sigil too
    Queue times can be lame
    Play my game, play my game
    I got the stunlock Banshee
    Consumables for Energy
    Or do you want me change?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    I need Limbo to constrain
    Sound Quake's Energy drain
    Too bad this ain't my main
    Play my game, play my game
    Got Specters scaled to level
    Damage dealin' devils
    This match is insane
     
    Any other Tac
    I would try, and attack
    Today I've got a snack
    Cause this Tac, is just wack
    Every single mob, can kill in one shot
    So I'm sat at D, cause my four's got 'em trapped and caught
    Now I've got it done
    First of all, let me say
    There was not much there, in the way of gameplay
    Just sat in the same place
    Hitting four, nothing more
    Why can't I get to play
    In this mission properly?
     
    I know you sayin' that it's an amusing day
    Nothin' we can do, one way to play
    Shouldn't be no reason why we stuck this way
    Abusin' CC to our dismay
    Cause I like how we usually do
    When we get to play whatever we want to
    Why can't it just stay that way?
    Why is playin' with friends now so passé?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    Cause no one's in the PUG queue
    Want the Rift Sigil too
    Queue times can be lame
    Play my game, play my game
    I got the stunlock Banshee
    Consumables for Energy
    Or do you want me change?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    I need Limbo to constrain
    Sound Quake's Energy drain
    Too bad this ain't my main
    Play my game, play my game
    Got Specters scaled to level
    Damage dealin' devils
    This match is insane
     
    What is going on?
    To these mobs, I'm a pawn
    One mistake and that's the entire party gone
    Don't try and nerf it now
    See this proves a point
    How scaling breaks apart
    And game systems disappoint
    It's hard to believe that we are supposed to beat this
    When doing so we need, need to do what seems amiss
    Just this question why, do they scale, up so high?
    Just tryin' to play this game
    But the method is so lame
     
    I know you sayin' that it's an amusing day
    Nothin' we can do, one way to play
    Shouldn't be no reason why we stuck this way
    Abusin' CC to our dismay
    Cause I like how we usually do
    When we get to play whatever we want to
    Why can't it just stay that way?
    Why is playin' with friends now so passé?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    Cause no one's in the PUG queue
    Want the Rift Sigil too
    Queue times can be lame
    Play my game, play my game
    I got the stunlock Banshee
    Consumables for Energy
    Or do you want me change?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    I need Limbo to constrain
    Sound Quake's Energy drain
    Too bad this ain't my main
    Play my game, play my game
    Got Specters scaled to level
    Damage dealin' devils
    This match is insane
     
    I know you sayin' that it's an amusing day
    Nothin' we can do, one way to play
    Shouldn't be no reason why we stuck this way
    Abusin' CC to our dismay
    Cause I like how we usually do
    When we get to play whatever we want to
    Why can't it just stay that way?
    Why is playin' with friends now so passé?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    Cause no one's in the PUG queue
    Want the Rift Sigil too
    Queue times can be lame
    Play my game, play my game
    I got the stunlock Banshee
    Consumables for Energy
    Or do you want me change?
     
    Play my game, play my game
    I need Limbo to constrain
    Sound Quake's Energy drain
    Too bad this ain't my main
    Play my game, play my game
    Got Specters scaled to level
    Damage dealin' devils
    This match is insane

     
    Frame Like Me
    Originally: Friend Like Me
     

    Well now our Banshee has some great CC
    And the Rhino's got a second Shield
    But master you in luck, cause see that three?
    It's gonna level all the playin' field!
     
    You got some power from those mods of yours
    Got your Heavy Caliber max rank
    You got Intensify as well of course
    See all you gotta do is build to tank
    And I'll say
     
    Mister Excalibur
    It's time to press that three!
    Just you line it up and
    Let it rock
    You ain't never had a frame like me
    No no no
     
    Frost is for protection
    And stealth is all Loki
    C'mon use your skills at destruction
    You ain't never had a frame like me
     
    Yes sir, we pride ourselves on melee
    Got the stuns
    The sword, the moves
    Strike where you wish
    Your foes you'll squish!
    And with every fight your skill improves!
     
    Charge all those foes ahead
    Go in and mash that E
    And if they're behind press 2 to blind
    You ain't never had a frame like me
     
    Can your friends kill this?
    Could your friends kill that?
    Could your friends pull swords out their little hat?
    Can your friends go, poof?
    Well, looky here
    Can your friends go "Radial Javelin," let 'er rip
    And then make an army disappear?
     
    So doncha sit there slowing down your team
    I'm here to help you top the DPS
    Cause it's time to use that move supreme
    You got an ultimate ready to press
     
    You got the chance to turn this fight around
    So whatcha use? I really wanna know
    You got a list of combos, though I've found
    That their usefulness is just so-so
     
    Mister Excalibur, use a skill or two or three
    It's time to move, get in the groove
    You ain't never had a frame, never had a frame
    You ain't never had a frame, never had a frame
    You ain't never had a frame like me
    You ain't never had a frame like me, hah!

    [Song] Spooky Scary Scorpions

    in Fan Zone

    Posted · Edited by Yezzik

    It had to be done.

    Happy Halloween, everyone!

     

    ---

     

    Spooky scary Scorpions

    Shoot snares, lasso you in

    Slashing strikes from sudden swords

    Soon scratch and sear your skin

     

    Spooky scary Scorpions

    Scream 'bout tenno skoom

    You'll scan these soldiers constantly

    As you slide from room to room

     

    We're so sorry Scorpions

    Your stun it makes us scream

    And now the ancients have it too

    So this is a bad dream

     

    Cause spooky scary Scorpions

    Hate when Zephyrs soar

    They'll snap and try to sabotage

    Your spacebound search for gore

     

    Somas set up supercharged

    Shoot shots of scorching shock

    But shotguns with their multishot

    Are so savage they rock!

     

    Spooky scary Scorpions

    Are silly, makes me sigh

    They'll snatch up and then try to slay

    Squads of space samurai

     

    Saryn's Miasma it melts

    Stalker and Sargas Ruk

    Spooky scary Scorpions

    Will slow you cause you suck!

    Losing Mastery Every Mission.

    in General

    Posted

    I don't know if it's just a problem with the new profile screen, as the bar by my picture in-game seems to stay where I remember it being before today.

    If this keeps up, though, my profile may freak out and claim I'm Rank 16 again in a couple of missions. :P

    Warframe Ability Mods: Coming Changes

    in Developer Workshops

    Posted

    So this is fine and all I guess. 

     

    But will I now have to re-grind every single frame to get its abilities back to optimum levels? After y'know, couple forma and many hours getting most of my frames just the way I like. 

     

    Probably not. Remember, your abilities won't be costing Capacity any more to stick on your frame...

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