Kamal965 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 This reminds me of Homestuck. In other words, brilliance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Murder everyone with bladestorm and Dread. You murder everyone in this room. This room was empty. The Lotus reminds you that these targets are high flight risk. But she says it in a pretty sarcastic way, because what are you doing, everyone is in the next room. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Give Ash's Teleport free-aim Game Balance is impartial to your suffering. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Open Arsenal You open the Arsenal, but you are also reminded you have a lot to live for, and for instance, you're actually doing Tower 1 Capture right now, so you're not in the Arsenal at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(PSN)NicoTheSneakyGuy Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You open the Arsenal, but you are also reminded you have a lot to live for, and for instance, you're actually doing Tower 1 Capture right now, so you're not in the Arsenal at all. >Go to nearest Capture Target Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stefanovich Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Game Balance is impartial to your suffering. >Give Ash's Teleport free-aim Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlraistlx Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You are immediately launched into the mission. The Text Adventure does not support a squad deployment. You are teleported inside the Tower, or something, you are unsure how you arrived. But you're there now, and you're alone, and the Neural Sentry has told everyone in the Tower that you're a jerk. >Act like a jerk. Advance towards the market target on minimap while murdering anything on sight. Do not walk back but open all the containers and lockers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptimumBow0 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You peruse the myriad of enemies who you stopped to take a picture of, while they were gouging chunks out of your teammates. Thanks to Helios, you also have the most thoroughly detailed scans of various containers possible. It is to be noted that all of the enemies in the Codex do not like you as a person. They have told others you are "dumb" and "look fat in that armor" and that when you're extracting, you can't see it but everyone is chucking you the bird through the windows. These scans are very detailed. >Laugh, exit, and select Mimas, Saturn Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Act like a jerk. Advance towards the market target on minimap while murdering anything on sight. Do not walk back but open all the containers and lockers. You break and open everything you come across, completely ignoring that these poor, brainwashed minions were storing the meager remains of their previous lives in those lockers, the last remnants of their memories before they became unwilling tools for the Neural Sentry. They watch as you rifle through their things and just leave a mess everywhere, and they agree you're a pretty huge jerk. You can overhear the Capture targets conversing. They are talking about why they leave these doors unlocked when they can obviously lock some of them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Laugh, exit, and select Mimas, Saturn You are currently being a jerk amidst a T1 Capture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlraistlx Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You break and open everything you come across, completely ignoring that these poor, brainwashed minions were storing the meager remains of their previous lives in those lockers, the last remnants of their memories before they became unwilling tools for the Neural Sentry. They watch as you rifle through their things and just leave a mess everywhere, and they agree you're a pretty huge jerk. You can overhear the Capture targets conversing. They are talking about why they leave these doors unlocked when they can obviously lock some of them. >Aim for the head. Take the shot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OptimumBow0 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You are currently being a jerk amidst a T1 Capture. >What? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arlayn Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 >dance Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Aim for the head. Take the shot. You decapitate one of the Capture targets. You have some serious misgivings regarding the word "capture". The other target is clearly upset, and runs away, making a sound that can be described as "bluh bluh bluh I'm a stupid Tenno I shot somebody in the face". Also he is chucking the bird over his shoulder, because he is Grineer, and they are not very polite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 It's home-o-clock at work so I'll be back later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xlraistlx Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 You decapitate one of the Capture targets. You have some serious misgivings regarding the word "capture". The other target is clearly upset, and runs away, making a sound that can be described as "bluh bluh bluh I'm a stupid Tenno I shot somebody in the face". Also he is chucking the bird over his shoulder, because he is Grineer, and they are not very polite. >Reach for the dead body and press the action key. It's home-o-clock at work so I'll be back later. Dude you're awesome at this. have a great day and I'll wait for your come back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnderFiend Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Finally catch on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Naphiro Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 >Enters Invasion mission on Grineer side. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chupacabra Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 Can't stress how hard all this resonates. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Somedude1000 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 How relatable I salute you in all due friendliness o7 Godspeed :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fet_nite Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 A very special +1 for you, that was a hilarious post. You made my morning with that one :DD Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
arch111 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 So much fun ^-^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zeromanicus Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 This made me laugh out loud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autrix02 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 >My Sentinel is level 30! The Accept button does not care. I died. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moderius Posted May 31, 2014 Author Share Posted May 31, 2014 Okay so I'm back, I was going to do a whole text adventure but it would be 1) slow 2) hard to keep funny 3) a lot of work So I'm doing a thing I like to call "be slightly lazier" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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