What If? The Warframe Anti-Hype Thread

[Odadda]

The first thing you'll have to do is to craft ship's modules and components. Obviously the first one to look forward is the Foundry.

 

So you'll have to go to your Foundry and craft it oh wait a second....

[Alice-Proxy]

U14 is also probably a month away

at least

[BerelHawdos]

Warframe comes to Wii U.

[Creamydessert]

if you needed to travel to a planet to get to a mission area, we had to wait for players to load their ship "traveling" to the planet in a group mission

[--RV--Meta]

Personal space ships for every Tenno eh?

 

[Beas7ie]

I'm still very upset about how melee 2.0 was bungled, along with Loki Prime and all the new goodies.  This will just add more RNG, Grindwalls, and diluted drop tables.  

 

I'm loving this antihype thread.  Can we have an official "anti-hype" plane?  It will be cooler than the train because it can fly.  It can also drop bombs on the hype train.  

[Ganpot]

THE INCREDIBLE NEW FEATURES OF UPDATE 14!!!

 

- amazing new infested tile-set! (will not be properly optimized, resulting in unplayable stuttering and dropped connections / enemies will not be able to properly navigate the non-flat terrain / everyone will play dark sectors for the bonus exp and resources instead)

 

- epic new boss! (locked behind at least 1 wall of RNG / will possess invincibility phases, damage caps, and weakspots in order to prevent players from instantly killing it / will not possess reliably avoidable attacks or complex behavior patterns, thereby allowing even the most unskilled players to grind to victory)

 

- 6 challenging new enemies! (DE does not guarantee all enemies will possess their own models or AI.  Rubedo policy varies by country.  See codex for details.)

 

- launch of Xbox One version of the game! (monthly fee required / connectivity with PC and PS4 coming in the near future (by cosmic standards) / deliberately retro graphics / minimal chance of console spontaneous combustion when combined with newer tile-sets)

 

- deadly new warframe! (skills are not legally required to work, nor be coherently assembled into a single framework / DE takes no responsibility for the future uselessness of any or all previous warframes, in accordance with Nihilism v. Goodwill, 666 Canada 420 (2013))

 

- 20 tricked-out prime weapons! (extreme amounts of power creep, making Boltor Prime seem useless by comparison / each weapon requires 6 pieces / rarest pieces only drop in T4 survival (with a generous 0.05% drop rate for each))

 

- player ships! (ships will contain no functionality not present in previous iterations of the UI / nevertheless, excessive resource costs and build times should be expected)

 

- Immersive new UI! (will be far more annoying and cumbersome than previous iterations, with few to no redeeming characteristics / enhanced with occasional bugs and glitches to better simulate roaming Grineer signal-jamming ships)

 

- realistic pet simulators! (reality is inherently undefinable under the tenants of Solipsism, and therefore the simulation present may not be discredited as unrealistic under the religious tolerance rulings of 1892 and 1915 / pets' combat abilities will be determined by breed type, and rarer breeds will be disproportionately more powerful / breeding will be determined by RNG, and may or may not be rigged at any time / lawsuit by Nintendo is pending)

 

- revamped dark sector conflicts! (now mildly less boring, but of course completely unbalanced.  We couldn't risk rocking the boat and alienating our core fans / alliances may now pay darvo platinum to heal their solar rail instantly (even while under attack!))

 

- powerful new resource: Xenon! (has a 6 hour half-life / can be fully charged (before full depletion) by sacrificing 20 platinum or the soul of a Kubrow / found only in T4 survival missions after the 1 hour mark)

 

- enhanced jumping animations! (did we do good?  Please, we just really need you to stop yelling at us about core features and gameplay.  But this solves everything, right?  Cause we really need to get back on schedule in order to deliver horse mounts by December.) 

 

FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!!!!  UPDATE 14: PAY IT OUR WAY!!!

[Xoxx]

Truth!

Just add that U14 will bring in bugs that will make stuff from previous updates go honky wonky.

[Creamydessert]

so uh how personal are our ships again?

 

[CleverNinja]

You can warp to anything in the ship just by clicking in the pause menu. You can think of the whole thing as a fancy menu with just one extra click if you don't like ships.

Do you understand what we're doing here...?

[DoomFruit]

Grind. RNG. More grind. Even more RNG. Remember: if at least 50% of the players haven't burned out yet, there's not enough grind.

 

Going by the changes to the in-game UI, I'm predicting that the new UI will at best be equal to the old UI and worse in most cases (read: slower loading, more clunky navigation, some items hidden when they used to be accessible immediately).

[Lucky_Miss]

I don't really want U14 in fear of extreme lags.

[S7ORM]

Or, damn ships Im already laggy in missions, i got to be laggy in my menu too

This is my biggest problem with the whole thing. I don't need to render a fully interactive environment like this when I'm not going to be running around shooting and slashing things.

[IrisDragoon]

Turns out that U14 isn't this week, and is slated to come out next week, then DE makes us wait another week because of "bugs", then when they release it nobody will be able to join the game/forums because of imminent DOS attack...

[RejectionOfFate]

Turns out that U14 isn't this week, and is slated to come out next week, then DE makes us wait another week because of "bugs", then when they release it nobody will be able to join the game/forums because of imminent DOS attack...

We give them ideas to look out for here.

 

Even if it is joke criticism, criticism is still valued and looked into.

[Creamydessert]

ALRIGHT GUYS I FOUND OUR HYPE VEHICLE BEHOLD

 

[OniDax]

Turns out that U14 isn't this week, and is slated to come out next week, then DE makes us wait another week because of "bugs", then when they release it nobody will be able to join the game/forums because of imminent DOS attack...

 

lol. 

[Twilight053]

I H8 HARLEQUINN BALANCE D WORFREM DEE EEE

[ItalianPlumber]

Kubrows are likely not going to be skill-intensive or interesting additions to the game, reinforcing Warframe's planning-intensive game-style with action elements tacked on as opposed to an action-shooter with planning-intensive elements tacked on. If it must be cared for day-to-day, it will not be fun, it will be just another daily thing to take care of alongside log-in rewards and the Foundry. At least it will be pretty to look at.

 

Hysteria doesn't seem functionally different, just prettier, while retaining its inherent problems.

 

The new Warframe will likely have many gimmicks and strange effects, but once again only requiring basic positioning, creating yet another Warframe with varied uses and painfully simple execution. It might also suffer in prolonged encounters since containers never respawn.

 

Quests will be hit-or-miss; they could be fantastic ways to expand the story of the game and also fix drop-table dilution, or they could be mindless tasks that we're already doing.

 

The new enemies could be a step in the right direction, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

Above all else, the greatest problems I have with this update won't be what it does, but what it doesn't. There are so many more important things that could be happening to the game right now than Kubrows.

[CBAROG]

Don't give ideas to DE.

 

Above all else, the greatest problems I have with this update won't be what it does, but what it doesn't. There are so many more important things that could be happening to the game right now than Kubrows.

THIS^

[RejectionOfFate]

New player experience would be nice... new player UI will probably confuse me for a few minutes.

On the upside? U14, Rainbow bridge.... Riiiight?

[Nkomo-Sama]

THE INCREDIBLE NEW FEATURES OF UPDATE 14!!!

 

- amazing new infested tile-set! (will not be properly optimized, resulting in unplayable stuttering and dropped connections / enemies will not be able to properly navigate the non-flat terrain / everyone will play dark sectors for the bonus exp and resources instead)

 

- epic new boss! (locked behind at least 1 wall of RNG / will possess invincibility phases, damage caps, and weakspots in order to prevent players from instantly killing it / will not possess reliably avoidable attacks or complex behavior patterns, thereby allowing even the most unskilled players to grind to victory)

 

- 6 challenging new enemies! (DE does not guarantee all enemies will possess their own models or AI.  Rubedo policy varies by country.  See codex for details.)

 

- launch of Xbox One version of the game! (monthly fee required / connectivity with PC and PS4 coming in the near future (by cosmic standards) / deliberately retro graphics / minimal chance of console spontaneous combustion when combined with newer tile-sets)

 

- deadly new warframe! (skills are not legally required to work, nor be coherently assembled into a single framework / DE takes no responsibility for the future uselessness of any or all previous warframes, in accordance with Nihilism v. Goodwill, 666 Canada 420 (2013))

 

- 20 tricked-out prime weapons! (extreme amounts of power creep, making Boltor Prime seem useless by comparison / each weapon requires 6 pieces / rarest pieces only drop in T4 survival (with a generous 0.05% drop rate for each))

 

- player ships! (ships will contain no functionality not present in previous iterations of the UI / nevertheless, excessive resource costs and build times should be expected)

 

- Immersive new UI! (will be far more annoying and cumbersome than previous iterations, with few to no redeeming characteristics / enhanced with occasional bugs and glitches to better simulate roaming Grineer signal-jamming ships)

 

- realistic pet simulators! (reality is inherently undefinable under the tenants of Solipsism, and therefore the simulation present may not be discredited as unrealistic under the religious tolerance rulings of 1892 and 1915 / pets' combat abilities will be determined by breed type, and rarer breeds will be disproportionately more powerful / breeding will be determined by RNG, and may or may not be rigged at any time / lawsuit by Nintendo is pending)

 

- revamped dark sector conflicts! (now mildly less boring, but of course completely unbalanced.  We couldn't risk rocking the boat and alienating our core fans / alliances may now pay darvo platinum to heal their solar rail instantly (even while under attack!))

 

- powerful new resource: Xenon! (has a 6 hour half-life / can be fully charged (before full depletion) by sacrificing 20 platinum or the soul of a Kubrow / found only in T4 survival missions after the 1 hour mark)

 

- enhanced jumping animations! (did we do good?  Please, we just really need you to stop yelling at us about core features and gameplay.  But this solves everything, right?  Cause we really need to get back on schedule in order to deliver horse mounts by December.) 

 

FEEL THE EXCITEMENT!!!!  UPDATE 14: PAY IT OUR WAY!!!

You win.