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Your Rng God Prayers Here.


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Dear RNG God...  I thank you for working in mysterious ways.  Another evening on the Warfarm, tending the fields of Xini for eight rounds of 20 waves, bearing nothing but hellfires and streamlines.  You surprise me once again at Wave 5 when I least expect it with the ever elusive Banshee Helmet.

 

Pray to the RNG God and all that is needed for good game will be yours.

 

Gotthebanshee.jpg

Edited by sushidubya
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Dear RNG,

 

What the F*** do you have against Flow?  I mean really, you drop me a barrel diffusion on Xini but you can't spot me a Flow on the dozens of Grineer mobile defense missions I've been doing?  Screw you, I'm praying to RNS [random-number Satan] instead.

Edited by Nicocat
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Please, RNG God's, bless me with thine divine grace and fortune.

For I seek not one, but two items. The Aurora Frost Helmet and a Blue Potato!

 

Hear my prayer!

prayer.jpg

 

 

But, srsly is this game really RNG?

I hope it's not. :(

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After hours, nay days, of farming for a Focus mod, I looked up to DE and said, “RNG, the hour has come. Glorify your Tenno so he can give glory back to you. For you have given him ability over Tenno. RNG gives eternal chance to each one you have given RNG. And this is the way to have lucky drops—to know RNG, the only true D20, and DE, the Tenno you sent to the sol system. I brought glory to you here by completing the work you gave me to do. Now, RNG, bring me into the glory we shared before the world began.

“I have revealed a Chance for a Focus mod from the ones you gave me from this world. They were always yours. You gave them to me, and they have kept your word. Now they know that everything I have is a chance from you, for I have passed on to them the message you gave me. They accepted it and know that I came from you, and they believe you sent me."

“My prayer is not for the world, but for my sanity, because it belongs to you. All chances for rare mods belong to you, and you have given them to me, so they bring me glory. Now I am departing from the world; they are staying in this world, but I am coming to you. RNG, you have given me your name;now provide me a Focus mod by the power of your name so that they will be united just as we are. During my time here, I protected the Tenno by the power of the name you gave me.I farmed them so that not one was lost, except the one headed for Lag, as DE foretold."

“Now I am coming to you, RNG. I told them many things while I was with them in this world so they would be filled with Luck. I have given them your word. And the world hates them because they do not belong to the world, just as I do not belong to the world. I’m not asking you to hand out rare mods like candy, but to save my sanity from delirium. It does not belong to this world any more than I do. Make them Lucky by your truth; teach them your word, which is truth. Just as you sent me into the world, I am sending them into the world. And I give myself as a Tenno sacrifice for them so they can be made Tenno by your truth."

“I am praying not only for these Tenno but also for all who will ever believe in a Focus mod ever dropping. I pray that they will all be one, just as you and I are one—as you are in me, RNG, and I am in you. And may they be in us so that the world will believe you sent me."

“I have given them the Luck you gave me, so they may be one as we are one. I am in them and you are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that you sent me and that you love them as much as you love me. RNG, I want a Focus mod you have given me to be with me where I am. Then they can see all the glory you gave me because you loved me even before the world began!"

“O RNG, the world doesn’t know you, but I do; and these Tenno know you sent me. I have revealed you to them, and I will continue to do so. Then your luck for a Focus mod will be complete and all Tenno shall see thee as True."

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Dear RNG,

 

What the F*** do you have against Flow?  I mean really, you drop me a barrel diffusion on Xini but you can't spot me a Flow on the dozens of Grineer mobile defense missions I've been doing?  Screw you, I'm praying to RNS [random-number Satan] instead.

I upgraded from Hunter earlier today. In the very next mission:

1) I hit rank 30 with a weapon for the first time (MkI Braton)

2) got the neurode drop I had been farming so I can make Boltor to replace said Braton

3) Flow mod dropped

Clearly, the answer is to upgrade your founder package ;-)

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O RNG God,
Heavenly Host of Randomness,
Bastion of Killing Sprees,
We ask this of Thee:

Grant us nimble fingers and agile minds,
Precision keystrokes and perfect Latron shots,
And may you bless us always
In our quests for Cryopods.

Grant us low ping and perfect connection,
High performance and divine protection
From Shock MOAs and Toxic Ancients,
Those evils born of Stalker's breath.

Grant us silver tongues and razor wit,
And buff our patience just a bit,
For even in the post-game lobby
The battle rages on.

Grant us serenity in the grim and pale,
Even when our teammates fail;
When headshots and killing sprees
Are naught but a fleeting dream.

In any game of any mode
Buff us with thy glory.
Grant us plus one to all attributes
As we pwn in thine holy name.

Edited by iBread
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Fools! You may have provoked the Random Number Goddess' wrath with your pitiful prostrating. The Lady Luck is a fickle one and will surely no longer smile upon us for mistaking her gender! 

 

Sorry. This may be my most random tiny rant ever.

 

"Sooner or later it was going to catch up with you. You'd find that Lady Luck was really a hooker, and you were fresh out of cash." - Max Payne

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Well hey all...sorry to reign on your parade but...

 

I'm an atheist and I haven't missed a single Potato alert, Glaive BP, have all weapons and warframes.

 

You mad?

Nope. Because so what if your atheist? I don't believe in the government...but they're still there...

 

Just as the RNG god is here..loving you..hating you..

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Nope. Because so what if your atheist? I don't believe in the government...but they're still there...

 

Just as the RNG god is here..loving you..hating you..

 

I guess you do provide a compelling argument!

 

I have converted!

 

I hereby devote myself to the Gods of the RNG. Thank you for the double potato, I will now be able to feed my family of Brats (Bratons, see what I did thaar).

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Yes!!!  Fellow Tenno brothers and sisters!  The RNG God has answered our prayers, while he/she may not have granted us the mighty thunderbolts, we've been given many potatoes to double our strength in battle!  

 

The fields of Warframe are fertile and ready for farming.  Keep up the good fight my bretheren!  Have faith and pray to the RNG God; all that is needed for good game will be provided.

Edited by sushidubya
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Lord of lords,

Gods of gods.

I call your name,

My neutra god!

 

I came here with a humble request.

Please, my neutral god,

Make me stay at my PC

At times of needs.

 

The time I need is the time of times,

The time, my neutral RNG God!

The time you choose to bless us

With your generous rewards.

 

My neutral RNG God.

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