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What Would The Corpus Think After The Battle, Seriously?


TheTenno
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Crewman 1 : Goddamnit, all our friends died. It seems only few of us survived.

Crewman 2 : Ikr, out of nowhere came out this two guy from a smoke, and that dude just cast electricity everywhere

Crewman 3 : Not only them! There's a fat dude that love stomping the ground and a guy with a sword who loves slashing things.

Crewman 1 : Yes! And all my moa pets were frozen to death by this white dude with a long coat, and theres a chick in a suit here who made crazy dubsteb sounds

Crewman 2 : well I think let's get the hell out of here

*walking over to their storage*

Crewman 1 : so here's my locker......WHAT THE F**K!!

Crewman 2 : WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CREDITS

Crewman 3 : MY PISTOL AMMO!! MY RED HEALTH MEDICINES!!!

Crewmen : FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Like seriously guys, what the survivors of the battle think in their mind seeing opened storage containers with missing belongings? We're not just killers, we're also thieves!

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"We are here today to mourn the loss of Sgt. Nef Anyo.. Who managed to die yet again. We are still amazed at the fact he constantly seems to show up when we all think hes actually dead."

sgt. nef Anyo: Hey guys, whats up?

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"We are here today to mourn the loss of Sgt. Nef Anyo.. Who managed to die yet again. We are still amazed at the fact he constantly seems to show up when we all think hes actually dead."

Lol this actually made sense as we assassinated him numerous times.

They must've employed some child games developers as their IT - what I expect to see as hacking terminals were numbers but meh, just simple patterns lol. And the light, and the turret, etc. The most annoying thing to them is that they built Jackals to be destroyed again, and why the **** did those jackals contain RHINO blueprints?? could the lotus give them info... i'm just sayin guys.... (And the lotus is evil conspiracy goes again)

But seriously, their defense are just so weak. Grineers and corpus. Andd....continuing the story..

Loki : "Yo my tenno brothas, see what I just found!"

Volt : "You stole a video from corpus' lockers?"

Excalibur : "Let's watch it....well this video's title is kinda weird it is "xxx hottt" "

...

Loki : "Damn that's hot!!!"

At corpus headquarters..

Crewman 2.: "THEY STOLE MY FKING P*** COLLECTION!!!"

...

Ash : "Hey Rhino look what I found in a locker.. A video!"

Rhino : "The tittle is..NeverGonnaGiveYouUp, I wonder what is that.."

And guys, that's the end of Ash's video player, stomped to pieces...

Edited by TheTenno
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Volt:How am I gonna watch this "Sgt. Nef Anyo-co**" video without my fellow Tenno knowing what I'm doing?

Ah! *Overloads*

Saryn and Excalibur walk in the dark room.

Saryn:Why the hell is it so dark in here?

Excalibur: Don't worry i got this. Hold my space beer.

(Excalibur uses Blind)

Volt:AAAAAAHHH

Saryn:OH MY GOD!

Excalibur: Why does it bend that way?!

Edited by Solaurus
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Volt:How am I gonna watch this "Sgt. Nef Anyo-co**" video without my fellow Tenno knowing what I'm doing?

Ah! *Overloads*

Saryn and Excalibur walk in the dark room.

Saryn:Why the hell is it so dark in here?

Excalibur: Don't worry i got this. Hold my space beer.

(Excalibur uses Blind)

Volt:AAAAAAHHH

Saryn:OH MY GOD!

Excalibur: Why does it bend that way?!

We need space beer in game. Get on it DE.

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2 Crewmens bringing out their MOAS for a walk:

 

1st guy: "Sit down darlin', ok great" *soft MOA, warm MOA, purrrr purrr* "Now go, bring back my Prova!!" *launches his Prova far away, the MOA start running*

2nd guy: "Ahah... nice throw, you trained your MOA very well!"

1st guy: "Yeah, he's the joy of my life, i'm proud of him!"

 

*Suddently they hear 'CLANG, CRASH, BOOM!'*

 

1st guy: "Da fuq was that?!?!"

2nd guy: "Oh no... not again...."

1st guy: "what the hell are you talking about?! My MOA!! MOAAAA come back to me!"

 

*A big Rhino comes out of the fog holding the Prova in 1 hand and dragging the dead MOA with the other*

 

2nd guy: "See? Run away, i tell you! Run! He's the big fat one! We can still make it!"

 

*The 2 crewmens start running away but Rhino heard them and uses a couple Charges to reach them in a couple seconds*

 

Rhino: "Who's the fat one? TELL ME YOU LITTLE BULLS#&$!"

 

1st + 2nd guy: "You bastard arent you? what did my MOA did to you!? Nothing, why would you kill him?! what do you want from us?! Leave us alone!"

 

Rhino: "......"

 

1358457288440.png

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What would the Corpus think after the battle, seriously?

 

Crewman 1: 110110 011010101101000 111 011 010101 1000110!

Crewman 2: 1011! 10011110111001!

Crewman 1: 10100...

 

This is the same screeching we hear them screech when we attack.

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Crewman 1 with malfunctioned bucket on his head: "Where's the Robot? Where's the Robot? Where's the Robot?"

Crewman 2: "..."

 

 

General Sargas Ruk: "Bluuurp Bluuurp Beeeerrpp blouuurp .. hahahaha!" (that's what I understand when he's messaging you during the assassination mission)

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"We are here today to mourn the loss of Sgt. Nef Anyo.. Who managed to die yet again. We are still amazed at the fact he constantly seems to show up when we all think hes actually dead."

Cloning. They made copies of him with a big machine that sounds like an early 90's printer. That's also why they don't have huge armies of him (or other bosses). It takes too freaking long to print out another one

 

lol jk, it is funny to think about though. Four super powerful space ninjas appearing out of nowhere and tearing apart droves of their comrades

Edited by 7.T.
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Crewman 1 : Goddamnit, all our friends died. It seems only few of us survived.

Crewman 2 : Ikr, out of nowhere came out this two guy from a smoke, and that dude just cast electricity everywhere

Crewman 3 : Not only them! There's a fat dude that love stomping the ground and a guy with a sword who loves slashing things.

Crewman 1 : Yes! And all my moa pets were frozen to death by this white dude with a long coat, and theres a chick in a suit here who made crazy dubsteb sounds

Crewman 2 : well I think let's get the hell out of here

*walking over to their storage*

Crewman 1 : so here's my locker......WHAT THE F**K!!

Crewman 2 : WHERE THE HELL ARE MY CREDITS

Crewman 3 : MY PISTOL AMMO!! MY RED HEALTH MEDICINES!!!

Crewmen : FUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

What survivors ?

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Aftermath...

 

1.  Why are there space ninjas boarding our vessles with high speed stealth craft that aparently only they possess, rampaging through the ship destroying everything they find, leaving no survivors in some cases, and not just flying off with the whole ship rather than just unlocking some lockers?

 

2.  Why are we building combat robots with amazing energy weapons but we still arm 1/3 of our crewmen with glow-sticks?

 

3.  If we stop carrying rare materials in our pockets, will the Tenno leave us alone?  

 

4.  We seem to have a problem with being turned into infested, I propose we start a basic hand-washing regimen until this passes.

 

5.  Tenno appear obsessed with opening crew lockers... suggest we build a ship entirely out of lockers that re-lock themselves after tenno leave visual range.  Within days we will have trapped the entire faction...

 

6.  Reduce the size of air-venting systems by 1000% across the board!

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