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Out Of Frame: The Everyday Lives Of The Tenno - Feedback & Discussion


Jordan_McBeast
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Meanwhile, on the other side of the galaxy, Banshee and Loki are coming back from a mission to find that the gang has been missing them... Well, one of them. Nobody misses Loki. For very good reasons.

BANSHEE: Dammit! 3 missed calls and 4 text messages. How do I miss this stuff?

LOKI: Did you have it on silent?

BANSHEE: No. Everybody always thinks I do that, but its not true. Its like yea, Banshee, sound gags! I get it. Ha ha.

LOKI: Is it on airplane mode?

BANSHEE: Why would it be on airplane mode?

LOKI: Because every time we go on a mission, I sneak into the locker room and set everyone’s phones to airplane mode, just to see who notices.

BANSHEE: Dammit, it is on airplane mode! Why the hell would you do that?

LOKI: Because I’m Loki.

BANSHEE: Well did anyone call you?

LOKI: No.

BANSHEE: Because you’re Loki?

LOKI: Yes.

BANSHEE: Seriously, why do you crap like this? Do you have any idea how much of my social life I’ve missed because you’ve been messing with my phone? Wait... How did you know the password?

LOKI: I didn’t. You know that switch teleport thing I always do to &!$$ people off, and it seems totally random? Its not. I’m rummaging through your purse. I always go for it while the browser is still up before it reverts back to the splash screen. Haven’t had to learn a password yet.

BANSHEE: What is wrong with you?

LOKI: I want attention.

BANSHEE: You do this kind of crap all the time, don’t you?

LOKI: My shrink told me I have a behavioral problem. I told him I wouldn’t be paying for the last 2 months of therapy because I wasn’t there, I just sent my decoy.

BANSHEE: Why would you make those appointments and then not show up?

LOKI: To mess with him.

BANSHEE: Stupid question. Okay, seriously, nobody called you?

LOKI: They never do.

BANSHEE: Why?

LOKI: The pranks.

BANSHEE: What did you do?

LOKI: To who, specifically?

BANSHEE: You mean you’ve managed to &!$$ off every tenno in the galaxy and now nobody calls you anymore? You’ve actually accomplished that?

LOKI: It was on my bucket list. Rhino was the easiest. I emptied out his jug of whey powder in the trash, and then replaced it with chocolate milk mix. It took him a month to figure out he was drinking Nesquik instead of protein shakes. He never forgave me.

BANSHEE: Didn’t you do the same thing to Ember?

LOKI: Kind of. I went into her fridge and replaced all the meat with tofu, then I swapped the propane tank on her grill with methane, so not only did she have a freezer full of vegetarian fake meat, but her barbecue smelled like farts for a week. That girl loves to grill. She never forgave me. Also, I refilled her shampoo bottle with barbecue sauce, but that girl is neck deep in burning infested all day, and still don’t think she’s noticed that the Sweet Baby Ray smell is coming from her.

BANSHEE: How did you get Trinity? She’s pretty mellow.

LOKI: Told her that Dumbledore dies in that one Harry Potter book. Nyx was there, she started laughing, so I listed off every Game of Thrones character that dies in every book. She’s still in season 2 on netflix and she hasn’t even seen half the characters whose deaths I’ve already spoiled.

BANSHEE: Really?

LOKI: She totally lost it, it was great. Saryn thought it was pretty funny too, then I got her. Poured out all her laundry detergent and refilled it with bleach, now all her black goth clothes are grey. She told me if she ever caught me alone she’d cast contagion on a fork and stab me with it until I got cancer.

BANSHEE: Jesus Christ.

LOKI: Excalibur was easy, I just unslotted his slash dash. Mag was easier. I unslotted his radial javelin.

BANSHEE: What about Volt?

LOKI: I followed him around for a whole day with a gym bag full of that spray-on truckbed liner you can get at automotive stores, and every time he tried to zap something I’d just run in front of him and paint down an insulating layer of rubber to sap his voltage.

BANSHEE: That’s not even funny.

LOKI: No, that’s hilarious. But what was really great was when I broke into Frost’s apartment and sabotaged his air conditioner.

BANSHEE: Wait... How did you get me?

LOKI: I’ve been doing that airplane trick on your phone for like the last 3 months. Also, every time you’re not looking I turn down the volume on your ipod and your stereo, so that you think you’re losing your hearing.

BANSHEE: THAT WAS YOU THE WHOLE TIME?

LOKI: You’re not going to forgive me for this are you?

BANSHEE: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MUCH THAT SCARED THE CRAP OUT OF ME? ME, THE TENNO WHO KILLS PEOPLE WITH SOUND? Do you have any idea how important my hearing is to my job?

LOKI: Well, yea. That’s why I thought it was so funny.

BANSHEE: You’re sick Loki. Really sick. What the hell! I had an appointment with an ENT specialist and everything!

LOKI: Yea I got you really good.

BANSHEE: No wonder nobody calls you. I hope the new guy knows what a scumbag you are.

LOKI: Oh he will, I just reloaded his Hek with hot dog wieners this morning. They fit perfectly down the barrel of a shotgun.

As a Loki veteran;i am proud.

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The second  part is just amazing , but  I've  got one question : what was the prank for Ash ? :D

Perhaps replacing the smoke in his smokebomb with pepper spray?

 

That would be a nasty supprise. That or toxic gas. Can't wait to see the rest of this day play out.

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This is pure gold!

 

Even though it makes me feel like the only person, who doesn't deliberately troll with Vauban and thinks that Trinity would be the mother@(*()$ badass of the team. (I mean come on, she's like the Wolverine of warframe - unstoppable melee machine, that never runs out of power, and keeps everyone else from duying too. Tough love at best).

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LOKI: Two words. "Smokeless Powder." Also one time I replaced his shurikens with those little nerf foam discs.

 

Oh the possibilities of what you can do to a smokebomb. I'm surprised it wasn't an itching powder. Or a sneesing powder. Or just paint.

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