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Bad Joke Thread


FrothingLoins
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Please note: A bad joke is not necessarily a dirty joke. Nor is it a racist joke. Keep the second type off the forums all together.

 

 

 I'll start:

 

What do you do to help an old lady at an ATM check her balance?

 

 Shoulder check her.

 

 

Jokes only. No memes, pictures or videos. TEXT ONLY.

Edited by FrothingLoins
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How do you kill an elephant?

With an elephant gun

How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun

How do you kill a pink elephant?

You hold its snout until it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toes red?

To hide in the cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

Guess it works then!

Why shouldn't you walk through cherry orchards between 3 and 4 PM?

That's when the elephants come out of the cherry trees

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How do you kill an elephant?

With an elephant gun

How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun

How do you kill a pink elephant?

You hold its snout until it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toes red?

To hide in the cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

Guess it works then!

Why shouldn't you walk through cherry orchards between 3 and 4 PM?

That's when the elephants come out of the cherry trees

Yes, but how do you kill a doge?

You don't. The doge is immortal

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A rabbi and a priest are fishing. After much discussion, they decide to make a sign saying "The end is near! Turn back before it's too late!" One person did not appreciate this, and yelled "Leave us alone, you religious nutjobs!". He drove on, and then there was a splash. The Rabbi turned to teh priest and said "Do you think we should have put up a sign saying "Bridge out" instead?"

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Jesus and an old man are playing golf, it's the old man's turn to putt.

 

So he hits the ball, it bounces of a rock, hits an eagle which carries it over a water-trap and drops it on a lily pad.

 

 

The wind picks up and blows the lily pad over to the bank, where the combined force of inertia and wind roll it into the hole.

 

Jesus says 'Nice shot, dad!'

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How do you kill an elephant?

With an elephant gun

How do you kill a blue elephant?

With a blue elephant gun

How do you kill a pink elephant?

You hold its snout until it turns blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

Why do elephants paint their toes red?

To hide in the cherry trees

Have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree?

Guess it works then!

Why shouldn't you walk through cherry orchards between 3 and 4 PM?

That's when the elephants come out of the cherry trees

Edited by Tsoe
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A rabbi and a priest are fishing. After much discussion, they decide to make a sign saying "The end is near! Turn back before it's too late!" One person did not appreciate this, and yelled "Leave us alone, you religious nutjobs!". He drove on, and then there was a splash. The Rabbi turned to teh priest and said "Do you think we should have put up a sign saying "Bridge out" instead?"

XD

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What did I just watch?

 

a  girl riding 2 elephant man like a boass at  1min02

 

that's wut yu saw

 

(edit: song beyrouth nice piece of art)

 

But elephant guns dude... elephant guns

 

next we need a  lephantis  gun

Edited by Tsoe
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