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Make me laugh (Plat prize) (Contest over!)


TheErebus.
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Let me tell you a common joke from my country:

Why did the freezing swede sitt in a corner?

He was told it was 90° there

Spoiler

Im from Norway, these types of jokes are common between us, sweden and Denmark :P A joke triangle if you wish

 

Edited by tyny89
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Excalibur walked into a bar.  He hit his head, then got thrown out for drawing a weapon on the premises.

Volt didn't walk into a bar, he ran into it.  Paramedics had to be called.

Mag walked into a bar, and said "ow."  After a few drinks, she amused patrons by sticking coins to herself and others.

Rhino walked into a bar.  The bar's owner made him pay for the damages.

Frost walked into a bar.  He was out cold.

Nyx walked into a bar.  In revenge, she mind controlled the bartender for free drinks.

Ember walked into a bar.  The fire department couldn't save the building afterward.

Loki walked into a bar.  Fortunately, nobody saw him do it, so he was able to deny the whole thing ever happened.

Valkyr didn't even notice that she'd walked into a bar.  As it turns out, she's very mellow after a few drinks.

Banshee walked into a bar.  The screaming that ensued shattered the bar's entire stock.

Oberon walked into a bar, and got his antlers caught on it.  He never left, and now the bar has a new trophy rack mounted over the fireplace.

Ivara tried to walk into a bar, but fortunately was a bit too short to hit her head.  So instead she ordered a drink, and while the bartender was distracted, she cleaned out the cash register, stole several bottles of the house's best, and left without paying.

Equinox couldn't decide whether to walk into a bar or not.  Eventually both of her were dragged away by the police for arguing with herself outside.

Mirage walked into a bar.  Or did she?  It's hard to tell with all those mirror images.

Chroma walked into a bar, hit his head, but didn't care.  After a few drinks, he was hauled away by police for public indecency, as he'd stripped off his pelt and started screaming, "THE COLORS, MAN!  THE COLORS!"

Mesa is forbidden from walking into the bar - she keeps trying to shoot bottles on the counter.

Inaros walked into a bar, and grumbled about hitting his head.  He left in a huff when he learned they didn't serve drinks dry enough for him.

Atlas walked into a bar.  To this day, they still don't know where that landslide came from.

Limbo tried to walk into a bar, but couldn't.  He passed right through it.

Saryn, oddly enough, refuses to walk into a bar.  When asked, she states simply, "I have enough poison already."

Ash walked into a bar, and was pretty ticked off about hitting his head.  He's now being investigated for sixteen homicides.

Trinity walked into a bar.  She complained about the safety hazard as she dragged Volt and Frost off for treatment.

Nekros walked into a bar..  In revenge, he raised everyone who ever died there from the dead.  Ash's murder spree came back to haunt him.

Vauban almost walked into a bar.  Fortunately, everyone warned him, saying "IT'S A TRAP!"

Nezha and Wukong walked into a bar together.  Wukong refused to admit that he'd done it, while Nezha was knocked on his rear and slid all the way across the establishment.

Zephyr didn't walk into a bar. She was high enough already.

Vay Hek floated into a bar, and barely noticed that he'd bumped his head.  After a few cold ones, he was sobbing atop the bar saying, "I MADE TOO MANY SACRIFICES."

Edited by Arkvold
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Why computers seem female:
-- No one but the Creator understands their internal logic.
-- The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else.
-- The message "Bad command or file name" is about as informative as, "If you don't know why I'm mad at you, then I'm certainly not going to tell you."
-- Even your smallest mistakes are stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
-- As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories.

Why computers seem male:
-- They have a lot of data but are still clueless.
-- They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time, they are the problem.
-- As soon as you commit to one you realize that, if you had waited a little longer, you could have obtained a better model.
-- In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
-- Big power surges knock them out for the rest of the night.

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