BloodKitten Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 i wish to say this upfront, i know asking this is weird, but i want an outside prespective, i will also put it under spoiler tag since not everyone may want to read something like this. my dad been hospitelized since the 3rd, and died early this morning, started as kidenies problem (wasent able to urinate for 2-3 days), then, it caused issues with his loungs, he had a tube down his throat to provide air, but, it was uncomfortable for him, often had seliva overflowing from his mouth since it was hard for him to swollow, since he had issues breathing, it also effected his heart, and today, a day befor he was suppose to undergo a surgery to make it comfortable for him, he passed away. its hard for me to describe what im feeling, i was hopefull that he may be more comfortable after doing a surjery, then a day befor it, all hope shatters, not knowing how it might have ended up, not being able to talk to him in the 10 days he been there due to the air tubing, not understanding what he wanted to say, knowing i will never see him again, its eating inside of me, and i do not know how to process it. i know its the way of things, and reguardless he would have died befor i would, but i never thought, or wanted him to go out like this, was hoping i would have him around atleast untill my 30's, but never thought it would be like this. i am really at loss on what to do from this point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uzpian Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 All I can say is don't bottle up your feelings. Find someone, talk to them and release all that feeling of grief inside you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blakrana Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 How people deal with grief varies between the person. So do bear in mind that anything people suggest will largely come from their own experience and understanding of it. With that being said... Perhaps the first thing that can be done is to think more on the good times had together. To look at all those things shared and had, and remember that those memories will not leave so long as you can hold onto them. Laugh, cry...whatever they make you feel, those are important. Other than that, best thing you can do is just find someone who can listen, empathise and just give you that security to be open with how you're feeling at the moment. Walks, runs...physical activity can also be a good outlet for people depending on the circumstances. In any case, good luck with moving forward in the times ahead. There's very little else that I can really offer here as it is very much a personal response in the end of the day. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PhantomCrosz Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Be Strong, all living being come and eventually will go.the most important thing is to deal with the emotional pain and move on with your life.You have to know what emotions you are dealing with right now, they are mainly Denial, Anger, Depression and finally, Acceptance.*better known as the Kübler-Ross model / The 6 Stages of Grief (some say 4 or 5, it doesn't matter). you can google it to find out more Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[DE]Grzegorz Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 (edited) Follow all 5 stages of grief. Edited February 13, 2016 by Mofixil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Letter13 Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Grief is a tricky thing to deal with, because it affects people differently. In the short term, distractions might help to take your mind off of it so you can focus on other things, but occupying yourself with other things isn't a good solution since it just buries the grief. Don't try to tackle it all at once either, because it won't work. It might take several years or more before you can really come to terms with the loss of a parent--at least that's how it was for me. Talking with others helps, and if not talking then perhaps writing, and you should only do it when you're comfortable to do so. For me my solace (and acceptance of losing my father) was writing about him--specifically all of my strongest, fondest memories of him, as well as the little details and quirks. It might be hard to do, but recording enjoyable memories of your father will help cement the positive memories you have of him and help you accept it and move on while remembering him in a positive way. Lastly, I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is never easy, especially when you're young. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GinKenshin Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 I would suggest talking to someone, a relative, a friend. just don't keep it inside you, let it out and this is weird, but I also suggest talking to God. now I don't know what your religion is, but I do know if you talk to your God, it'll feel a lot better, you'll know your father is in a better place because he's on God's side Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pavelord Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 BloodKitten, I'm sorry for your loss, I highly recommend you seek a thanatologist therapist to help your through your grief, don't let depression take over you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ThePredicament Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Since this happened today, you probably won't actually start feeling it until later. For now, just do whatever you feel is right. Once you fully realize that this has happened, talk to your family and your friends. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taiiat Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 i will just mention that everyone i've ever known in my entire life that listens to Metal, has little in ways of pent up problems or other bursts of violence. why? high energy, meaningful music, that is not only entertaining but serves as a productive outlet for the anger side of Human Beings. contrary to popular belief, Metal is a very, very wide Genre and surely has much for everyone's personal taste, and those that listen to Metal do NOT become psycopaths. instead, it's those that listen to artificially calm, pointless music (generic topics that aren't chosen from a mixture of heart and brain, but are chosen because it's easy to write and people will buy it) that will have bursts of violence. because they keep it pent up forever. tl;dr, people that listen to Metal are generally some of the calmest people on the face of this earth. because they're not afraid to be active during say, Concerts. but outside of there, have little desire to do so, because those urges have already been fulfilled. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMcGeek Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 How I have dealt with it is acceptance with what biologically happens. I have simply accepted that we just rot. That we only think and feel because of the body that we have. So after death there is nothing. That, even if it messes with my own fear of death has made it that I think little of others dying, or at the very least nulls it down. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishworshipper Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Well, I found it pretty effective to just bottle up my emotions and drown them out with copious amounts of work and video games until the pain goes away. Then again, I'm also mentally #*($%%@ so I guess that might've been a bad choice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(PSN)AngelShur Posted February 13, 2016 Share Posted February 13, 2016 Sorry for your loss! I can only advice this; don't play 'tuff' now but rather let go your tears and weepings. I found it easy (in the past) to visit a calm sea and stare, scream and even talk to it and myself for a couple of hours. No matter what others say, don't take drugs, don't drink the pain away, but rather seek upbuilding friends and families. Take your time to grief and tell yourself that you need to move on. I know a 1000% for certain that your father would have want you to move forward, remember him in his best days and become what he would have want you to become... (I believe that you'll see him again) so that when you see him again, not suffering, you can tell him with pride that you honored him by living your live in a way that he would have been proud of! Be strong my fellow Tenno! :'( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodKitten Posted February 14, 2016 Author Share Posted February 14, 2016 thank you for your input, we are going to bury him in a few hours from this post, i hope it wont hurt too much, to be honest, even typing about it causing me to break a bit. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nighttide77 Posted February 14, 2016 Share Posted February 14, 2016 Sorry for your loss, as well. My only advice would be to turn to God through Christ and pray. Everyone handles death of close ones differently. Sometimes the heart acts in ways you can't understand until much later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BloodKitten Posted February 15, 2016 Author Share Posted February 15, 2016 it hardly hurting anymore, cryed myself numb at the cemetary and throut the eavning, if anything, i feel like i have put distance between myself and family. even if they come here to comfort me, my dad's brothers, for a week, i dont feel like sitting with them, not sure how it makes me look, not sure what is good or bad thing in this case anymore. just glad im not crying anymore. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Revel72 Posted February 15, 2016 Share Posted February 15, 2016 BloodKitten is possible. Get back to work. Soon as possible you get to back to normal life. You will feel much less sad. I know how you feel because I lost my uncle about two years ago? I couldn't do work for one day but next day when I got to work. Hell I felt much more better. It still hurts to remember him although on your part you are getting a bit easier than I am. My uncle has a boy... And *bites his own lip* when you grow older you will realize what kind of pain I will go through with my family. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nighttide77 Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Glad you're glad, at least. Numbness can heal over time, and is probably totally natural. Just be sure you don't get addicted to numbness. Numbness helps move forward, but shouldn't remain a crutch to get stronger. If others don't seem to understand the distance, possibly telling them that you're just numb and need some time and distance would help them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon_Slayer Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Take a walk and think about it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(XBOX)Grihaly Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 This is probably one of the things you shouldn't do, but I deal with grief via alcohol. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JefPlays Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 This is probably one of the things you shouldn't do, but I deal with grief via alcohol. Do not follow this advice Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
[DE]Grzegorz Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Do not follow this advice Do not press the red button. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
(PSN)makrisbrik Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 (edited) I am very sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I just want to share an experience with coping up with the loss of my great grandmother last november. My great grandmother was a remarkable and strong woman. She survived the japanese occupation in the philippines during WW2, living in the mountains while my great grandfather (soldier and husband) waged a guerilla warfare alongside the Americans. I remember her visiting us from the philippines. I felt really sad and devastated because of the guilt that I could have corresponded with her more or made the effort to visit. But the most important thing is, She loved me and I loved her. And the best way I can honor her is to keep the memories of her alive. And by doing that, I celebrate her life. Edited February 16, 2016 by (PS4)makrisbrik Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OverlordMcGeek Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Do not follow this advice That wasn't advice. I'd go with pills. Gotta love how Americans will throw medication at everything. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eidolon_Slayer Posted February 16, 2016 Share Posted February 16, 2016 Worked for me multiple times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts